The Littlest Winslow

Full disclosure: I’ve been hating on The Office ever since Michael Scott left. Not because I thought the show couldn’t handle the burden of everyone’s favorite paper company boss hitting the road, but mostly because the show tanked soon after. The episodes weren’t funny, the storylines were weak – it should’ve ended in its 7^th season and I completely stand by that.

But dammit, they nailed that finale.

 [Spoilers from last night’s Series Finale]

The episode took place a year after the Dunder Mifflin documentary aired. Since then, everyone has had the time to let the last nine years of their lives sink in. They reunite to celebrate Dwight and Angela’s wedding festivities, as the film crew returns to shoot bonus footage for the DVD. There’s a bachelor party that only Dwight could enjoy, a kidnapping, a stripper that Dwight mistakes for their waitress, and some other shenanigans with the groom’s freaky-deaky farm friends. The episode is packed with funny insights and assorted hilarity. Aside from all this, the 75-minute-long episode succeeded in two major ways.

First, like any strong finale, the show brought back some familiar faces. Kelly Kapoor and Ryan were reunited at the wedding (I guess true love never dies), and more importantly, Michael returns to be Dwight’s Best Man. Producers were mum on details about whether or not Carell would return, even refuting it at one point, but I was glad to see him and also glad they didn’t make the finale all about him.

Second, it finally showed some much-needed character growth and it did so with so much heart. Andy went from a YouTube sensation/laughing stock to getting a full-time gig at his Alma Mater. Erin finally found her birth parents (Oh, hey Joan Cusack!), and Meredith revealed that she was in college getting her PhD hence her partying.

And then there’s Jim and Pam. These two revisited their budding romance, the Roy days, their courtship, their marriage and parenthood all because of the documentary. Pam’s return sacrifice for Jim was a perfect ending for them, and proved that the couple is finally ready to leave Scranton behind and move on. Pam waxes nostalgic about how the documentary made it difficult to relive all her former mistakes:

“I kept wanting to scream at Pam. It took me so long to do so many important things. It’s hard to accept that I spent so many years being less happy than I could’ve been. Jim was five feet from my desk and it took me four years to get to him. It’d be great if people saw this documentary and learned from my mistakes. Not that I’m a tragic person, I’m really happy now. But it would just make my heart soar if someone out there saw this and she said to herself: ‘Be strong. Trust yourself. Love yourself. Conquer your fears. Just go after what you want and act fast! Because life just isn’t that long!’”

Well said, Beasley.

Jim also has a moment where he thanks the camera crew for capturing his last nine years:

“Imagine going back and watching a tape of your life. You could see yourself change and make mistakes and grow up. You could watch yourself fall in love. Watch yourself become a husband. Become a father. You guys gave that to me and that’s an amazing gift.”

Bravo to John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer for their nuanced performances here, which were simply stellar. Jim and Pam were great characters that I think we all enjoyed rooting for.

The finale pulled at heartstrings in all the right places. Think about the last 9 years of your life. What if you could watch that back, like one long movie? I think almost everyone can relate to how surreal that would be – having a specific time of their lives encapsulated like that, frozen in time. There’s something to it. Life rarely works that way though and as Andy put it: “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”

So even though I appear to have sipped on chugged The Office Kool-aid, credit where credit is due: Greg Daniels and co. nailed this finale. Despite the last two seasons of suck-dom and the finale’s periodic self-indulgence, these guys and gals finished with a bang.

(That’s what she said!)

Seasons 8-9 Grade: C
Finale Grade: A

The 85th Academy Awards ceremony aired last night and if you aren’t dead, you’re probably just about overloaded on Oscar mania, thanks to Twitter and Facebook alone. But still, shit’s worth mentioning, yo.

Seth MacFarlane was way better than anticipated. Sure, there were racy, borderline-sexist jokes, but compared to his usually douchebag self (this coming from a pretty big Family Guy/Ted fan, so settle down, Beavis), he didn’t go overboard. He had lots of hilarious jokes and jabs, and let’s face it: Dude can sing. The opening was great, the collaborations and music followed through – this blogger was pleased!

Jennifer Lawrence won for Best Actress and tripped on the way up. But no one cares, because Jennifer Lawrence can pretty much kill a baby koala on stage and everyone would still love her. Her candor is so, so refreshing for an up-and-coming Hollywood-type to be and as long as she continues being herself (and acting the shit out of everything she’s in), she’s going to have a long, healthy, and entertaining career to follow.

Now, I’m not too huge of a Musical guy, but I do have my guilty pleasures. Admittedly, Les Misérables isn’t one of them. However, that musical number by the Les Mis cast? Holy shit. Guess I need to see it? Even that 10-second clip during Hathaway’s win was very powerful. Even though insert-Russell-Crowe-joke-here, I still have to get on it. Because WOW.

Which now brings me to that tie! (You can tie!?) The editors from Zero Dark Thirty and Skyfall shared Oscars for Best Sound Editing last night which made the entire world wonder if that shiz had ever happened before. It has. Last night was the sixth time in Oscar history. I thought I’d have to do some serious investigating on this one, but it turns out the Internet was all over it this morning. Here’s the skinny:

According to the AMPAs database, the first happened in 1931-32, when Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde’s Frederic March and The Champ’s Wallace Beery each won the Best Actor award. However, the vote count wasn’t an actual tie — Beery received one more than March, but the rules at the time stated two winners would be honored if the count was within three votes. The rule subsequently changed.

In 1949, A Chance to Live and So Much for So Little both won the Best Documentary Short award. Katharine Hepburn and Barbra Streisand tied for the Best Actress statuette in 1968, for their respective roles in The Lion in Winter and Funny Girl. The fourth tie occurred in 1986, when Artie Shaw: Time Is All You’ve Got and Down and Out in America were honored for Best Documentary. Finally, Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life and Trevor both won the Best Short Film (Live Action) award in 1995.

So there you have it! Six ties. Count ‘em.

And Affleck. Man, if there isn’t a better example for a Champ-Turned-Underdog. Dude wins for Good Will Hunting and then is basically mocked for years, only to have a killer fuck you-comeback with Argo. Then, he accepts graciously to an Academy and public full of assholes that shunned him. Affleck had a moment and showed poise, all while making us feel like the jerks we are. Good on ya, Ben, despite whatever-the-hell he said to his wife, Jennifer Garner. What was that about? I don’t know. Who cares. Ben > Us.

Though last night’s event felt crazy long by its conclusion, the charisma, music, and titty jokes really made it all worthwhile.

I just wish Beasts of the Southern Wild had walked away with something.

For a complete winners list, click here.

Ever since Survivor‘s 16^th (and best) season, Micronesia: Fans Vs. Favorites, I have been hankerin’ for the show to do a second installment of the Fans Vs. Faves theme. Pitting 10 newbies against 10 returning veterans made for a perfect storm. There were shocking vote-offs week after week, medical evacuations, a mental breakdown, a fake idol and a Black Widow alliance of women who ran circles around the guys. It. Was. Awesome.

Tonight’s premiere of Survivor Caramoan finally (finally!) brings us the return of the Fans Vs. Favorites model…but who the hell deemed these castaways “favorites?” Let’s break down these questionable characters, shall we, starting with the few I’m happy to see island hopping once again:

Erik Reichenbach – Original Season: Micronesia: Fans Vs. Favorites (Season 16)

Erik was originally a Fan, but now the former-ice cream scooper returns as a Fave…and that he is. Erik was a dominator at challenges and great around camp. He was also extremely likable…and gullible. The Parvati-led Black Widow alliance convinced him to give up his hard earned immunity idol at Tribal and then kicked him to the curb. A few years later, he’s back and hopefully much, much wiser. The Erik fan club line starts behind this blogger.

Dawn Meehan – Original Season: South Pacific (Season 23)

Dawn was a great spirit to root for. She had a rough beginning with all that moping and crying, but turned it around, proving to be a dominating female for her tribe. (Remember that weight lifting challenge she won for her tribe?) Now that she knows what to expect, hopefully she hits the ground running.

Malcolm Freberg – Original Season: Philippines (Season 25)

Malcolm only had two and a half weeks in between filming his Philippines season and heading back out to compete in Caramoan. He may be less physically fit than before, which is really what he was known for. He and Denise made quite the run in the Philippines though, considering their entire tribe was decimated under the leadership (or lack thereof) of Russell Swan. He’s a quality Survivor, but will he have what it takes to do it all again so soon?

OK – The following “Favorites” suck, but I get it. They’re probably going to be great for TV:

John Cochran – Original Season: South Pacific (Season 23)

Cochran is a nerd. He bluntly asked Probst to only call him “Cochran” so he could follow in the footsteps of Survivor greats like (Jonathan) Penner. Then he went and flipped on his tribe because he was scared of choosing rocks due to a tied vote, a feat only done once in all of the show’s history – Season 4′s Marquesas edition. Cochran then took a beating from his former tribe, but hey man, snitches get stitches. Though I don’t doubt that the kid is smart and probably learned from his mistakes, I wasn’t really holding my breath to see him again. Survey says: Meh.

Corinne Kaplan – Original Season: Gabon (Season 17)

Corinne sucks. I hate her lots, similar to how I despise Colton from One World. These two aren’t “fun to hate”-villains, I just loathe them. Corinne is vicious, crude and kind of a bully, but she delivers quality soundbite after soundbite, so I get why producers think she makes for good TV. They’re probably right, but I can’t get past the whole hating-the-shit-out-of-her thing to meet them halfway. I can’t wait to see her lose. Hard.

Brandon Hantz – Original Season: South Pacific (Season 23)

CBS’s infatuation with the Hantz family is really annoying (Big Brother‘s Willie, anyone?), but I must say, I was somewhat struck by Brandon during his first time out. The kid was only 19 years old and was really going through a moral, soul-searching inner struggle. He couldn’t deal with his emotions and couldn’t make decisions (how he passed the psych eval is beyond me). Like Erik, he gave up his immunity and was sent packing. It was entertaining to watch him, but I felt too bad for him to really get any joy out of it. And lets face it, he’s not the brightest crayon in the box. A second chance for this guy? Really, Probst?

Phillip Sheppard – Original Season: Redemption Island (Season 22)

Surely you remember Phil Sheppard, pink undies and all. Otherwise known as Boston Rob’s lackey, Phillip was another nearly psychotic castaway. He claimed to be a former “Federal Agent,” but who would be dumb enough to reveal that if it was true? This dude is so whacked, I can’t even get into it. I did have many fun nights watching this guy unravel though. He could really bring the crazy to this season, but he’s not ever going to be a great player. Without Rob, this guy doesn’t stand a chance.

These last three: I’m clueless.

Andrea Boehlke – Original Season: Redemption Island (Season 22)

You may remember her from….just kidding. She’s completely forgettable and you don’t remember her in the slightest. She had a thing with this guy Matt. She went to Redemption Island. She came back once. She was super boring and super useless.

Brenda Lowe – Original Season: Nicaragua (Season 21)

Brenda is a frustrating character because she could’ve been so epic. She started out strong and then got cocky and lazy. She didn’t even fight to stay once her name was thrown into the ring. She could’ve been the next Parvati, but she never lived up to her own hype. Why waste time on her for a second round?

Francesca Hogi - Original Season: Redemption Island (Season 22)

Fran-ses-kwa (as Phillip calls her) was voted out first during her season. Enough said.

Alas, though entirely psyched about the potential of this second helping of Fans Vs. Favorites, I feel like the producers squandered a really good chance at bringing back some serious players. Lets face it: This is a seriously disappointing and embarrassing list of “Favorites,” but I hope this season makes me eat my words.

Here’s the skinny: Mainstream music still exists and it mostly sucks. LL Cool J is alive and well, but also is pretty terrible. Kelly Clarkson and Gotye took home deserving awards though, and fun. proved that they really aren’t that fun. at all. Then, Bruno Mars sang with Sting and it was SUPER AWESOME until Rihanna ruined it. Then they showed Chris Brown’s stupid mug, ruining it even more. But then two Marley’s came out making it somewhat OK again.

You really don’t need to know much or anything at all about the _____ (insert number here) annual Grammy Awards from last night….except for this Jack White performance, of course. Check White out below owning the entire place, first jammin’ out a feisty rendition of “Love Interruption” with The Peacocks before crankin’ out a killer “Freedom at 21″ with The Buzzards:

Jack White – Love Interruption & Freedom At 21… by IdolxMuzic

All hail Jack White.

Last night saw the premiere of a new slasher/psychological drama The Following, created and penned by Kevin Williamson (Scream series) and starring Kevin Bacon. I need a new show like I need 50 more cats terrorizing my apartment or like I need the most annoying sound in the world as my cell phone ring, but you know how giddy I get for slashers! With enticing commercials and two badass Kevins on board, I decided to bite and couldn’t be happier that I did.

Bacon plays Ryan Hardy, a former FBI agent who retires on disability after catching a serial killer named Joe Carroll. Carroll was an English professor who taught the works of Edgar Allen Poe and killed a slew of women in Poe’s honor…until he got caught. Unbeknownst to the FBI, Carroll spent hours in a prison library building a social network of fans, followers and copycat killers, all who will stop at nothing to help this looney-tunes out with his master plan. You can probably guess what happens next: they help spring him from jail, hell breaks lose, and Hardy is BACK ON THE CASE! :::Insert cheesy 80′s cop show music here:::

Now, I despise Law & Order-type procedurals. There’s zero characterization, barely any overarching story, and vapid-story-of-the-week bullshit in every episode. Whenever I see CSI or NCIS or any other show with a bunch of capitol letters in formation, I run for the hills. But The Following is sort of like an FBI procedural, meets 24, meets horror movie, and that, my friends, is something I can get behind.

In the pilot episode, there’s a ton of dead bodies, ample gore, and a juicy amount of backstory packed tightly throughout the hour. It periodically flashes back ten years prior, offering slices of Hardy’s life and involvement with the case. The stories of Dr. Sarah Fuller, the only survivor of Carroll’s bloodbath, and Claire Matthews, Carroll’s ex-wife, are sprinkled throughout as well. What should have felt like an over-stuffed first helping was actually quite well done and well paced – not to mention the two or three twists it dished out too.

What a joyous hour of fucked up television!

Williamson has been throwing nods in the press to Kiefer Sutherland’s hit FOX series 24 (supposedly the writer’s favorite show), and in some ways it did remind me of everyone’s favorite CTU agent, Jack Bauer. There’s a Big Bad who will remain the season’s arching threat, there’s plenty of agencies throwing their two cents into the case, an ensemble cast of supporting coppers, and Hardy – a damaged, maybe-alcoholic former agent with a dark past who just so happens to get sucked back in. As long as no one ever utters, “Just let me do MY JOB!” I think we’re going to be OK here.

I enjoy hating on FOX as much as the next guy, but the network could really use a big-scale action/horror series. The Walking Dead and American Horror Story have more than proved that Horror works on television and now every network wants a piece of that action. Although The Following may never replace the lingering feelings of abandonment left after Bauer went off-com, it has still nicely set itself up to become the next addicting and provocative action series on the air. And the horror flair is the icing on the cake.

Now let’s see if it can remain consistent…

Premature Grade (Pilot only): A-

You can catch an encore showing of The Following on Friday, Jan. 25th at 9pm on FOX.

Last night’s fairly stellar Golden Globes ceremony, hosted by SNL vets Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, was filled with Tarantino creepiness, smoking hot stars (those Homeland ladies!), and jabs on James Cameran, Ricky Gervais and James Franco. Girls and Lena Dunham had a moment winning Best Actress and Best Comedy or Musical, Les Misérables won shit, Homeland won shit too, and Ben Affleck gave a huge middle finger to his ol’ pal Oscar (well, he didn’t…but his victory sure did). This is all fine and great, but Jodie Foster! And that speech! 

In case you missed it, it’s a must:

Foster was accepting the award for the Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement-type Award Thingie for her excellence in film over the course of her 47 years in the business. And man did she have stuff to say.

I applaud her, I do. Granted, she came off as a bit manic and rambling, but you could also pin that on her passion. She clearly felt a need for expression and she knew she was going to have the stage, so there you have it. It’s a shame that people dock her for her association with Mel Gibson, but if your closest friend and ally had a bad year or two, most likely you wouldn’t abandon them. Or maybe you would, you asshole. Loyalty. I dig.

I respect her stance on privacy, too, and on Hollywood and the media’s perverse affair. Our whole TMZ/Perez Hilton-led, gossip fueled society is bullshit, and didn’t Fiona Apple tell us that years ago? Looks like we still haven’t learned. Is Foster gay? Probably. But who the hell are we to speculate on something that has absolutely nothing to do with her work?

Jodie Foster is a living legend and her speech was legendary. Plain and simple.

I’m gonna duck out of this blog before I start Foster-rambling myself, but RESPECT, Jod’. I sure hope this isn’t your swan song.

Season 4 of Cougar Town premiered last night on its new network, TBS. Despite my internal hatred for the network’s less-than-stellar lame-o slogan, the premiere was, in fact, as advertised. And how about that! Cougar Town found a network that will actually promote it! HURRAY for the art of TELEVISION!

Safely burrowed in its new home, what’s changed around the set of Cougar Town? This Funny or Die exclusive has got the deets:

Portlandia is back and it really is a Happy New Year.

Season 3 started last Friday with the premiere of two new episodes, blessing us with cameos by Matt Pinfield, Tabitha Soren and Matt Loder (YEAH!), the introduction of new character Alexandra (played by Chloe Sevigny – YEAH!), and this sweet, sweet skit about spoilers.

It’s basically art imitating life. My life.

Oh…and also: Spoiler Alert.

For anyone who hasn’t jumped aboard the Portlandia bandwagon yet…hop on Fridays at 10p.m. on IFC, or catch Seasons 1 and 2 on Netflix Instant.

This post is spoiler free. 

Sure, Dexter, Homeland, Game of Thrones and Mad Men are worthy competitors, but it’s time to face the facts: American Horror Story is the best show currently on TV.

There. I said it.

Horror may not be everybody’s bag, but Ryan Murphy’s American Horror Story has been consistently delivering all the goodies these other shows have been dishing out and more. More zombie-monster things! More aliens! More World War 2 Nazi Evil Mad Doctors!

It sounds batshit crazy to deem a show like this TV’s reigning champion, but it’s time Horror started getting its due. Horror TV had always been a cult phenomenon. Shows like The Twilight Zone, The X-Files and Buffy the Vampire Slayer broke industry boundaries and paved the way for the television landscape we see today. Oftentimes, they never garnered the proper cred and respect they deserved until way later. In fact, shows like Dexter, True Blood, the upcoming Bates Motel, and more, simply wouldn’t have existed over a decade ago. Thanks to these pioneers, Horror has now bridged the gap between “cult fave” and  the “mainsteam.” Horror TV is here and people love it, and thanks to the creativity of American Horror Story, it’s being taken to an entirely new level.

This season’s Asylum edition of AHS has been a wee bit convoluted at its worst; at its best, it has been a beast harnessing some of the best writing and acting of 2012. This season’s plot surrounds Sister Jude (Jessica Lange) and the patients, doctors and nuns who occupy an institution for the criminally insane called Briarcliff Manor. It’s a completely new storyline from Season 1, yet like its predecessor, the story operates on multiple timelines, jumping back and forth from 1964 to the present. Some of Briarcliff’s inhabitants are morally twisted, like the evil Dr. Arthur Arden (James Cromwell). Others are unjustifiably thrown into the asylum, like Kit Walker (Evan Peters) and Lana Winters (Sarah Paulson), two characters who are trying to right the wrongdoings that put them there. They’re completely sane…or is Briarcliff ridding them of their sanity? Lange’s character this year lies somewhere in between the Good vs. Evil power struggle of the asylum. For Sister Jude, life at Briarcliff is a bit more…complicated. Oh, and then there’s that pesky Devil romping about.

As a result of its ambition and complexity portrayed through the show’s morals, graphic violence and simultaneous plot lines, the show should be a mess. Thanks to Murphy and his writing team, American Horror Story has avoided getting lost in its own insanity, balancing characters and action nicely and knowing when to wrap up certain character’s tales (see: last night’s episode! Hot damn!).

The acting is just as jaw-dropping as its blood and gore. Jessica Lange’s performance in last night’s “The Name Game” was probably one of the best performances I’ve seen. Ever. Her character’s transformation is rather spoilerific, but it’s an acting feat that cannot be missed for any fan of fiction. She deserves every award in the book for this performance. Hell, we need to just make up fake awards and throw ‘em at her. The Jessica Lange Award for Best Acting in a Mini-Series…presented by Jessica Lange. And the winner is: Jessica Lange. And us, of course.

Though Lange is the lead first and foremost, the cast is most definitely an ensemble. She’s surrounded by skilled professionals, most notably Lily Rabe, who plays two characters in one as the devil-possessed Sister Mary Eunice; the aforementioned Cromwell; and Frances Conroy (Six Feet Under) who co-stars as the Angel of Death. Week after week, these actors churn out performances that are…well, to die for. Cheeky, but true.

There’s a lot happening on TV right now. With cable networks producing more and more bankable products like The Walking Dead, Mad Men, and Sons of Anarchy, it’s often hard to break through such stiff competition. But American Horror Story is so unique in its storytelling and design that it must be celebrated. And it’s so refreshing to see such twisted perversion on the small screen without ever sacrificing character or quality.

Grade: A

This is what happens when you break up with a sociopath.

The critically-acclaimed Judd Apatow-produced and Lena Dunham-penned HBO series Girls is back soon and from the looks of the trailer, it seems like quite the follow-up to the series brazen” female-youth-takes-on-NY” debut. Brazen, did I say? While the premise may seem like a humdrum journey of already-explored fictional territory, Girls never gets all Sex and the City on you – in fact, it’s its modern day polar opposite.

Girls, wittily written, directed by and starring Lena Dunham, tells the tale of aspiring writer Hannah whose parents cut her off financially, two years after her college graduation. Hannah alternates between sinking and swimming as she attempts to get her life on track and carve her own niche in her career, neighborhood and personal life.

Of course, she has a few quirky friends along for the ride as well. She dates a weirdo, gets a job, fucks up the job, fights with her weirdo boyfriend, bickers with her friends, breaks up with the weirdo, and walks aimlessly through much of Season 1 – it’s a chillingly accurate (and fictionally appealing) example of youth in its young-twenty-somethings. Will Hannah’s mistakes help define her later down the road, or will she never figure it all out? Either way, it’s hilarious to watch her try.

Season 2 premieres January 13 at 9 pm on HBO. Catch up on Season 1 via HBO Go or pick up the Blu-rays  on December 11.  For now, you can ponder your own fuck-ups with the new season trailer – hurray!