The Littlest Winslow

Before our viewing of the 1941 Best Picture winner How Green Was My Valley, my lady mentioned that it sounded like the title of a porno. Although the movie turned out to be your run-of-the-mill 1940′s film (bummer, man), I stopped to think about the many possibilities: In the movie’s bizarro porn version, would the miners get laid every time they returned home from work, covered in soot and ash? Would there be lots of shower scenes to make up for their gross grime? Or maybe some of their ladies met them below the surface for some underground lovin’. Did porn even exist in the 40′s!? A guy has to wonder.

I think we singlehandedly mocked and destroyed one of the most beloved movies of all time. And I’m talking, like, in the history of modern day cinema.

Oh, well.

I didn’t love this entry of the Quest, but I didn’t hate it either. This is one of those that sort of felt like a mere check off a list. It’s really fun to write about stuff I absolutely lose my mind over or things I loathe more than pickles, but when the result is somewhere in the middle I’m rather mum. I think my preconceptions got the best of me on this one – I was expecting more and wasn’t significantly moved with regard to the miners’ struggles, families, unions, etc. The socio-economic snapshot of poor coal miners wasn’t completely lost on me, I just didn’t fully connect with it. I don’t fault the film for this, though. It just didn’t happen. Can’t love everything.

From a modern day viewpoint, it’s unbelievable that this one beat out Citizen Kane for the title. But according to Wikipedia (it MUST be true if it’s on Wikipedia!), people were boycotting Kane. Since the film was based on William Randolph Hearst’s actions in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, he naturally was a huge sissy about it and wanted people to claim libel against Orson Welles. He even tried to get the film banned. Trying to ban a future classic – way to go Hearst! There’s more to this story but I got super bored while reading about it.

What was this post about? Right. How Green Was My Valley is not about the sexual adventures of a bunch of Zoolander-esque coal miners. Instead, it’s about their struggles in society, both at work and at home, and about a little boy who gets beat up all the time and tells their stories and stuff. It was a good enough movie that didn’t really grab me the way I had hoped.

Grade: C+

To start out this here review of 1981’s British historical drama Chariots of Fire, I’d like to grade it first and discuss it second.

Grade: F

Ouch. And I don’t mean the grade. I mean the snoozefest about two athletes in the 1924 olympics. I can honestly say that I gained absolutely nothing from watching this movie, and instead, lost two quality hours of my life that could have been better spent watching Reality TV, eating peanut butter from the jar with my hands gorilla style, or video taping my cat being all cat-like.

As if “stuffy British film” was ever a trite term, take it from me people: Chariots of Fire is the definition. So Eric Liddel and Harold Abrahams are both runners. One is a Scottish runner who runs for God’s glory or whatever, and the other is an English Jew running to overcome prejudice. (As if, “Holy shit, you won that race, and I fucking love Jews now!” would actually have happened and alleviated some asshole’s misconceptions). But they run. And run. And run some more. Even around their college once, attempting to beat some record. This is important because SPORTS.

If only I could look as cool when I run.

Here is perhaps an area in which I am extremely biased. I enjoy playing sports, I enjoy watching winter Olympics, and I played like crazy as a youngster. But I don’t like the business of sports, and often claim that football, baseball, and insert-sport-name-here simply exist in our modern world in order to sell Miller Lite, and well hey, props to Miller Lite because beer is delicious. It’s just that sports and sports movies have a tendency of getting super preachy. And did I say stuffy yet?

Other thoughts:

If I was an actor, I’d probably look for roles that didn’t require running. Maybe running from a serial killer, or running to my car so I could be involved in some sickass chase scene, or maybe even running from the cops after my character’s involvement in a heist, but running just to run? I’d probably avoid that.

The most notable thing about this movie is its super-amazing score, which made me feel both incredibly stupid, yet also enlightened. It was the uber-“THAT’S WHERE THAT COMES FROM???” moment. Now, I’m 28 and not that young or old, but I think if I polled a sample of my peers, they wouldn’t really know the origin of this music either, so yeah, I guess I’m pretty OK with admitting my shock and amazement. Chariots of Fire’s score was done by Greek composer Vangelis, who won the Academy Award for it, naturally. Hear it below:

RIGHT!? Mind blown. I will feel even more moronic the next time I watch the decathlon scene from Old School. I’m sure I’ll gloat about knowing where the music comes from though, because hey, my horse is high. “You mean you don’t know?!” Look, I’m watching every single Best Picture winner in the history of forever. I’ve got to get props from somewhere, right? Even if it’s mostly from patting myself on the back.

In closing, I loathed this movie. More so than I loathed Out of Africa. That’s saying a lot, in my opinion.

A church, a broken window, some piano playing, singing, and two priests not getting along so much. That about explains the 1944 Best Picture winner Going My Way, starring Bing Crosby, and it was JUST AS EXCITING AS IT SOUNDS!!!!

Crosby plays Father Charles “Chuck” O’Malley, a young up-and-comer (if priests can even be referred to as “up-and-comers”) heading to a new congregation for his new post. Father Fitzgibbon (Barry Fitzgerald), the old school Elder Priest or something, disagrees with O’Malley’s ways, which really just includes real, grounded friendships, playing golf, and teaching children how to sing (The horror!). Fitzgibbon’s disapproval doesn’t really make any sense, but neither does religion sometimes. OH SNAP! A scandalous blog I lead, I know. Other characters float in and out, like a girl who ran away from home, some kids O’Malley teaches to sing, and a few others, but they don’t really matter too much because there isn’t really much of a plot and the film’s pieces rarely connect the puzzle. The movie was well-paced though, (which as you know by now is so crucial to me when I’m watching older, black and white films), and enjoyable enough.

Fun Fact: This movie won a helluva lot of Academy Awards (7!) and was the first and only time an actor was nominated for Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor. Fitzgerald lost to Crosby for Actor, but then snagged the Best Supporting trophy.

But before I start sounding like a Negative Nick about Going My Way, we should all hail the mighty Crosby – whose trademark bass-baritone made him a star on screen, in the recording industry, and on radio (he has three stars on the Walk of Fame to prove it). Some of these old-timer films simply exist as a vehicle for a super-mighty-talented guy to show off his super-mighty-talented talent, and Bing Crosby is “a dreamboat,” as one of my Facebook friends leisurely commented one day. The guy has mad skillz and no one can argue with that. Listening to the movie’s songs make it worthy of a watch, but negative points for yanno, the stuff I said above. The relationship between O’Malley and Fitzgibbon does progress nicely though, and by film’s end it’s kind of nice. Said the worst description of a movie ever.

To conclude with this conclusion, Going My Way is to Bingy as An American in Paris is to Gene Kelly: The movie was just OK for me, but the talented singing man keeps it out of C-territory.

Grade: B-

37 of 84 movies remain in the quest. Baby steps.

Nominations are in for the 2013 Academy Awards and like most years, there aren’t too many surprises…except for that Ben Affleck snub for Best Director, Argo (what WHAAAAT!?). Speaking of Best Director, Zero Dark Thirty’s Kathryn Bigelow is also egregiously missing from the list. Yikes.  Beasts of the Southern Wild fared way better than most probably predicted and…well, lets just get to it:

Best Picture
Amour
Argo
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Django Unchained
Les Miserables
Life of Pi
Lincoln
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty

Best Actor
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Hugh Jackman, Les Miserables
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master
Denzel Washington, Flight

Best Actress
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
Quvenzhane Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild
Naomi Watts, The Impossible

Best Supporting Actor
Alan Arkin, Argo
Robert De Niro, Silver Linings Playbook
Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained

Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, The Master
Sally Field, Lincoln
Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Jacki Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook

Best Director
Michael Haneke, Amour
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Best Original Screenplay
Amour, Michael Hanake
Django Unchained, Quentin Tarantino
Flight, John Gatins
Moonrise Kingdom, Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola
Zero Dark Thirty, Mark Boal

Best Adapted Screenplay
Argo, Chris Terrio
Beasts of the Southern Wild, Lucy Alibar and Benh Zeitlin,
Life of Pi, David Magee
Lincoln, Tony Kushner
Silver Linings Playbook, David O. Russell

Best Animated Feature:
Brave
Frankenweenie
ParaNorman
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
Wreck-It Ralph

Best Cinematography
Anna Karenina, Seamus McGarvey
Django Unchained, Robert Richardson
Life of Pi, Claudio Miranda
Lincoln, Janusz Kaminski
Skyfall, Roger Deakins

Best Costume Design
Anna Karenina, Jacqueline Durran
Les Misérables, Paco Delgado
Lincoln, Joanna Johnston
Mirror Mirror, Eiko Ishioka
Snow White and the Huntsman, Colleen Atwood

Best Documentary Feature
5 Broken Cameras
The Gatekeepers
How to Survive a Plague
The Invisible War
Searching for Sugar Man

Best Documentary Short
Inocente
Kings Point
Mondays at Racine
Open Heart
Redemption

Best Film Editing
Argo, William Goldenberg
Life of Pi, Tim Squyres
Lincoln, Michael Kahn
Silver Linings Playbook, Jay Cassidy and Crispin Struthers
Zero Dark Thirty, Dylan Tichenor and William Goldenberg

Best Foreign Language Film
Amour, Austria
Kon-Tiki, Norway
No, Chile
A Royal Affair, Denmark
War Witch, Canada

Best Makeup and Hairstyling
Hitchcock, Howard Berger, Peter Montagna and Martin Samuel
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Peter Swords King, Rick Findlater and Tami Lane
Les Misérables, Lisa Westcott and Julie Dartnell

Best Original Score
Anna Karenina, Dario Marianelli
Argo, Alexandre Desplat
Life of Pi, Mychael Danna
Lincoln, John Williams
Skyfall, Thomas Newman

Best Original Song
“Before My Time” from Chasing Ice, music and lyric by J. Ralph
“Everybody Needs A Best Friend” from Ted, music by Walter Murphy; lyric by Seth MacFarlane
“Pi’s Lullaby” from Life of Pi, music by Mychael Danna; lyric by Bombay Jayashri
“Skyfall” from Skyfall, music and lyric by Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth
“Suddenly” from Les Misérables, music by Claude-Michel Schönberg; lyric by Herbert Kretzmer and Alain Boublil

Achievement in production design
Anna Karenina, Production Design: Sarah Greenwood; Set Decoration: Katie Spencer
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, production Design: Dan Hennah; Set Decoration: Ra Vincent and Simon Bright
Les Misérables, Production Design: Eve Stewart; Set Decoration: Anna Lynch-Robinson
Life of Pi, Production Design: David Gropman; Set Decoration: Anna Pinnock
Lincoln, Production Design: Rick Carter; Set Decoration: Jim Erickson

Best animated short film
Adam and Dog
Fresh Guacamole
Head over Heels
Maggie Simpson in “The Longest Daycare”
Paperman

Best live action short film
Asad
Buzkashi Boys
Curfew
Death of a Shadow
Henry

Achievement in sound editing
Argo ,Erik Aadahl and Ethan Van der Ryn
Django Unchained, Wylie Stateman
Life of Pi, Eugene Gearty and Philip Stockton
Skyfall, Per Hallberg and Karen Baker Landers
Zero Dark Thirty, Paul N.J. Ottosson

Achievement in sound mixing
Argo, John Reitz, Gregg Rudloff and Jose Antonio Garcia
Les Misérables, Andy Nelson, Mark Paterson and Simon Hayes
Life of Pi, Ron Bartlett, D.M. Hemphill and Drew Kunin
Lincoln, Andy Nelson, Gary Rydstrom and Ronald Judkins
Skyfall, Scott Millan, Greg P. Russell and Stuart Wilson

Achievement in visual effects
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Joe Letteri, Eric Saindon, David Clayton and R. Christopher White
Life of Pi, Bill Westenhofer, Guillaume Rocheron, Erik-Jan De Boer and Donald R. Elliott
The Avengers, Janek Sirrs, Jeff White, Guy Williams and Dan Sudick
Prometheus, Richard Stammers, Trevor Wood, Charley Henley and Martin Hill
Snow White and the Huntsman, Cedric Nicolas-Troyan, Philip Brennan, Neil Corbould and Michael Dawson

The ceremony and live broadcast will take place February 24 on ABC.

What do Gregory Peck, the gays and vegan “play” cheese have in common? Absolutely nothing at all!

Welcome to another installment of The Littlest Winslow’s Epic Film Quest extraordinaire! This time, Gentleman’s Agreement (1947) was on the docket, we giggled about how silly the 40′s were, and I ate some surprisingly awesome pseudo-cheese made by Zoe from SexyTofu. I know I can hardly contain myself, so let’s get started!

This Winslow-approved film was one of the better paced and acted out of the movies from that era that I’ve hit so far. It’s about a journalist (Peck) who goes undercover as a Jew to conduct research for an exposé on antisemitism in New York City and Darien, Conn. He is steadfast and true in his social experiment and gets treated unfairly throughout, experiencing the ubiquitous and unjust bigotry that was sadly common during that era. He meets a pretty lady friend (Kathy), who isn’t really a Jew-hater, but turns a blind eye upon this societal issue, which leads to problems in their personal relationship. Then his co-worker Anne is super awesome and makes funny quips and you want him to bang her.

Noteworthy Noteables:

1) The late Celeste Holm played fashion editor Anne Dettrey and she was a real delight, delivering a witty and natural performance that was quite ahead of her time. She even won a well-deserved Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress! Kudos, Ms. Holm, and RIP.

2) This movie tackled a huge social issue for 1947 and must have been very powerful and controversial upon its release. Though it’s a little preachy at times, the message is there and I respect the film’s forwardness in delivering that message.

3) As previously mentioned, Gregory Peck was in The Omen and The Omen is awesome. Therefore, Gregory Peck is awesome. That’s some hardcore journalism right there.

4) I’m sure I could rant about how this movie’s message about antisemitism mirrors our current social struggles for equalities for the LGBT community, but I kind of don’t want to. Although I’m very pro-equal rights and gay marriage, the media is doing a fine job of belaboring this point, so I feel my wee little entertainment blog can spare you this lecture. But there are definitely a plethora of social parallels here that would be great for any film class to explore.

5) Although I’m not a food blogger, I’m a huge food fan and never balk at the chance to try something new…especially if it’s healthy! This vegan “play” cheese that accompanied our screening was fucking delicious. The consistency is almost exactly like ricotta, and it has an explosive cashew flavor. We smothered it in sriracha (duh) and put it over whole wheat pasta with fresh, sautéed veggies. Here’s the skinny on how to make your own:

Cashew Tofu Ricotta
-1 lb extra firm tofu
-Juice of 1 lemon
-2 cloves garlic
-1 tbsp EVOO
-¾ cup raw unsalted cashews
-1 tsp salt
-½ tsp black pepper
-¼ tsp oregano
-Big handful of fresh basil or 1 tsp dried
-Few shakes of red pepper flakes

To make:
Throw ingredients into your food processor and pulse til thick, creamy and ricotta-esque.

Thanks to SexyTofu for the recipe – pairing quality foods with excellent movies makes the Quest that much more enjoyable! (Virtual High Five!) Be sure to check her blog out, and I’ll catch you next time…whenever my lazy, sunburned, summer-loving ass pulls another post together! ADIOS, MUCHACHOS and thanks for stopping by!

I’m having one of those moments again where I liked a film, but am shaky on the write-y. I’m grasping for motivation to continue my quest to watch every single Best Picture winner possible, yet I’m struggling alongside simultaneous feelings of anxiety and contentment – content because I really did like 1929’s winner The Broadway Musical; anxiety because I still have miles and miles to go on this journey.

Is any other twenty-something in the world watching these films? Which then begs the question of whether or not anyone even gives a rat’s ass about my words here. I started this bad boy last September and I’m kinda jeepin’ about the whole thing. How long is this actually going to take!? I CAN’T HAVE ANYBODY FREAKIN’ OUT HERE!

Alright, enough whinin’! The Broadway Melody (1929 version, people!) was the second film to win Best Picture and the first to feature dialogue and music! (The more you know!) The movie’s about two sisters (Anita Page and Bessie Love) who hit the big city to try their luck out on Broadway. They’re small-town heroes and talents, but struggle to find their place in a larger pond. Older sister Hank’s entanglement with a song-and-dance man becomes even more complicated as he begins to fall for her younger sister Queenie. The film won Love a nomination for Best Actress, among other accolades, and her performance really reminded me a lot of Joyce DeWitt, as the two share a lot of the same quirks and demeanor.

This movie is from an ancient land, man! It’s over 80 years old! It reminds me of this professor I had once. He was super pretentious and douchey, but loved Art History and taught it very well, despite his overwhelming douchebaggery. He would always lecture that it was “art HISTORY….art HISTORY…” always putting the right emPHAsis on the right syllABle. Through the art, he urged us to stop and catch a glimpse of what life was like during the time of the art’s conception. He wanted us to peer into the minds of the artists. I find myself doing the same lately, only this time with writers, directors and actors. What were those roaring 20’s like and how did the vastly different social, political and economical landscapes affect this movie’s production?

Food for thought as I schlep forward.

Later today, I head back to the 1940’s for Gentleman’s Agreement with my pal Zoe from SexyTofu. Gregory Peck is in it. That dude was in The Omen. The Omen was cool.

There are a few awesome somethings that you should know about this movie. The first of which is in the headline. So, there’s that. Second – this is the only Alfred Hitchcock movie that ever won Best Picture. Bogus, right!? Not The Birds, not North By Northwest. It took an actor named Laurence Olivier and a novel written by Daphne du Maurier for this film to be made and nab the trophy in 1940. But a win is a win, even if it was followed by…err…nothing. Count it, Freddy ol’ boy!

In Rebecca, the lead female character (she is simply referred to as The Second Mrs. de Winter) marries Maxim de Winter, an aristocratic widower who lives in a mansion and is loaded and wants a second wife, I guess. He actually saves Mrs. de Winter #2 from having to follow around this old, miserable woman who has hired her as a “companion.” Yes, I also thought immediately of the beloved, gone-too-soon Firefly. Then I thought, “What a sweet deal, man.” I wish someone would hire me to hang out with them. (I’m tons of fun, have pretty OK taste in music and film, and am snarky, with just the right dash of douchebaggery attached. Good times guaranteed or your money back! Inquire within!)

So Maxim de Winter proposes to his lady-to-be…from another room. While calling her a Little Fool. The proposal of a lifetime! Set your standards high, ladies! And the two get married…but somehow they can’t escape the memory of his former wife, Rebecca, who died in a boating accident. Someway, somehow, her name continues to creep up on them until…well, you can watch the film and see for yourself. It’s TLW-recommended if you dig the No Color thang.

You’ve got to love old, black and white films though. The scene construction is so strange: so many five second scenes that don’t really serve a point. Random drives in the car, random dinner scenes that don’t offer any constructive dialogue…weird, man. However, for an older film, Hitchcock really nailed the pacing of this oldie-but-goodie. My attention never strayed or faltered, and putting another Hitchcock film in the memory banks never hurts anyone.

KUDOS are due: I was joined by Zoe from over at SexyTofu for the viewing of this moviefilm. Whenever I can con rope somebody into the Film Quest, I need to capitalize! The Epic Film Quest is a long journey, and it’s always better to have someone along for the ride, even if only for a 2-hour chunk of it. Shout-out!

After Rebecca, I then watched National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Nothing but the classics in this household.

Previously on The Littlest Winslow: Nick started an Epic Film Quest destroying the coolness and validity of all other movietime film quests. He laughed, he cried, he hurled.

It appears I broke another mini-rule. I’m supposed to be watching at least one film per week and then blogging about them almost immediately. Well, there has definitely been some lagtime in between viewings, and I watched this film over a week ago – so “Whoops!” and also “Fuck you”. I’m still dedicated to the quest, though I may have to adapt the rules based on real life, work and other writing requirements. Fear not, Music fans! I shall not bid adieu without glorifying this epic tale of…….singing, dancing and Austria (?).

My viewing of The Sound of Music was perhaps one of the most satisfying so far, to be honest. I felt like I was watching a classic – like I have somehow become a better film fan for having seen it. I thought I’d feel that way about Casablanca, but I didn’t really. In fact, I enjoyed the movie waaaaaay more than I thought I would, with all the singing and dancing and children, which are usually horrible things to me. Musicals tend to be wild cards for me – either I love them (Dr. Horrible, Nightmare Before Christmas) or I loathe them (Grease). I’m not so sure if I’d make a bold statement in saying that I “loved” this one – but dammit – I see the appeal and respect it as a classic!

I actually felt like I’d already seen the damn thing! Between Family Guy parodies, Gwen Stefani songs, and countless other pop culture references and samplings, The Sound of Music was basically already ingrained in my fucking brain. And ya gotta give some cred to Julie Andrews and Chrisopher Plummer (even if he did later admit he didn’t care for the role). Both performances were quality acts and it’s a shame Andrews couldn’t pull off a win for Best Actress at the 1965 edition of the Academy Awards (she lost to Julie Christie for her role in Darling).

I split up my viewing into two sittings. Why? Because this movie is three fucking hours long!? Here lies my only gripe. How is a movie about singing and dancing and scary looking children three hours long? Oh, then Nazis come. I didn’t expect that. Someone should do a tally of how many Best Picture winners and nominees include Nazis into their plot. Casablanca, Schindler’s List, The Sound of Music. This list goes on and on. Why are Nazis such a hot commodity? It’s almost as if the formula for a Best Picture nomination is equal parts Biopic, Drama, Tears, Intrigue…and oh, throw in just a pinch of Nazi at the end! What’s the deal with that, Oscar?

All in all, this is a great film and I encourage non-believers to turn an unsuspecting eye onto Julie Andrews and the Von Trapp family. Watch it on Blu-Ray too, while you’re at it. The film restoration was fantastic, making Austria’s hills really come alive visually. Must. Go. To. Austria. Soon.

On that note:  So long. Farewell. Insert-German-Words-Here and Goodnight!

Coming up: Midnight Cowboy, Rebecca, a Nazi-plot count and a Countdown Tally.

Crossed a huge one off the list, you guys – 1942′s Casablanca. It’s hard for me to even judge this one. It was just something that had to be done – a film that I should’ve seen years ago, yet there’s not much to say about it really. Maybe it’s because it’s Friday afternoon right now, but there’s just not much to write about here. I viewed it with my financelady who kept reminding me: “This is a famous quote” and “This is a famous scene” and I was like “IIIIIIIIIIII KNOWWWW!” I just wanted to pinch her cheeks.

The hour-forty-something journey was “the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” Ingrid Bergman walked into Humphrey Bogart’s gin joint, “Here’s lookin’ at you kid” and yada, yada yada. Is it wrong to “yada, yada, yada” one of the greatest films of all time? It’s not that I disliked Casablanca. Maybe it hasn’t aged well? Maybe I’m not that big of a romantic? I don’t know, dear readers. I’m glad to have watched it, but probably wouldn’t go back for seconds.

In lieu of my rapidly deteriorating commentary, I decided to make the world’s first ever (I have no idea if this is true) Casablanca rap. Boom. Check it.

“My name is Rick and I’m here to say,
cause probs in my joint, you’ll be on your way!
Germans ain’t welcome, but I won’t deny
that if you fuck with Ilsa, I’ll stab a fork in your eye!

I got passports and docs and such,
I don’t stick my neck out for peeps, but I’ll do it fo’ the Dutch!

Banged this chick way back in France
We galavanted ’round and did the no-pants dance!
But her husband turned out was in fact alive
so she left me high and dry, bounced out, how jive!

“Get on the plane,” I said with disdain,
You’ll regret it eventually was my only refrain.
She left again, No need to cry,
Epic Film Quest hit u in the muthatruckin’ EYE.

PEACE.

Summer is finally over and glorious Fall TV is upon us! As if I didn’t have enough television to suck up my free time with, I’ve decided to go on the most epic journey ever: A quest to watch every. single. Best Picture winner in the history of the Academy Awards!

Now this isn’t your average “quest.” I will not be traveling to the great mountains of Mordor or going on a cross-country jog or doing anything that would be of any real use. Mostly, because sweating too much isn’t really my idea of a good time, and because Frodo and Forrest Gump both convinced me that I really should just stay close to home. Although I may not leave my couch often, what better way to celebrate modern history’s greatest films than with a Best Picture marathon?

There is a multitude of classic, totally radical superfilms that I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t seen. Gone With the Wind was gone by the wayside, The Sting, Rocky, hell, even Casablanca has been unviewed by my virginal, film loving eyeballs. Bogus, right!? How can I call myself a film fan without having seen such works of art? Well, I blame 80′s Horror films, 80′s teen movies, and also the technological existence of the Digital Video Recorder. But, shit man. I’ve got to get going! If I’m going to call myself a semi-self-respecting film fan, I’m going to have to trade in some Reality TV for some Humphrey Bogart!

This idea came into fruition awhile ago, but I think I’ve already covered the fact that I’m really lazy. But I do love films, and I love the Academy Awards (in recent years, I have seen almost every single Best Picture nominee), so why not take the plunge. I’m going to watch these films with intensity. I’m going to love a lot of them, hate on a few of them, and probably get so bored that I’ll want to pull my eyes out. But I will complete every single minute of The Sound of Music, Amadeus, and every single other 90-hour long film that the Academy has deemed “the best.”  I’ll be taking notes and sharing my epic journey with you, dear readers. All 4 of you!

So where do I begin? First off – I’m not going to rewatch films I have already seen. The first ever Academy Awards ceremony was held for the 1927/1928 year. There are approximately 83 (count ‘em!) films on this list! Most of them are at least two hours long, if not more, so give me a fucking break already, OK compadre? No repeats. Nagana, nagana….nagana happen.

Secondly, I will write a post after each viewing. It may be a long one, if I’m feeling all moved and inspired, or it may just be a suicide note (not looking forward to you, English Patient!), but dammit all to hell, I shall write!

There will be absolutely no Facebook-ing allowed during each viewing. The only distractions allowed: snacks, beers and note-taking (for the blog posts). No other computer-y happenings will be tolerated!

Lastly, I’m going to try my hardest to watch at least one moviefilm per week. But as many of you know, I frequently make blogging promises that I never keep. But I’m going to try, try try!

Now that the rules are set in place, here is a list of the Best Picture winners I’ve already seen. I probably liked them, but who gives a shit what I think, right?

2010 – The King’s Speech (I almost fell asleep)
2009 – The Hurt Locker (thrilling, with a captivating performance by Jeremy Renner!)
2008 – Slumdog Millionaire (a fine film, though I caught it way after all the hype)
2007 – No Country for Old Men (well, that didn’t go so well)
2006 – The Departed (see Slumdog)
2005 – Crash (words cannot describe my love for this one)
2004 – Million Dollar Baby (Clint Eastwood and Hillary Swank proved to be an unstoppable duo – what heartbreak!)
2003 – Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Quite possible in my Top 5 favorite movies of all time. Ok, ok…Top 10.)
2002 – Chicago (As my besties know, I not only like this film, but know way too may of the lyrics than I’d like to admit)
2001 – A Beautiful Mind (Fascinating. Love, love, love this one!)
2000 – Gladiator (EPIC movie – Russell Crowe may be a doucher, but damn is he a badass)
1999 – American Beauty (Alan Ball is one of the best writers and directors of our time. Too bad I couldn’t STAND this one…and yes, I tried multiple times.)
1997 – Titanic
1994 – Forrest Gump (I like it so much that I even make references to it in overly long blog posts!)
1991 – Silence of the Lambs (insert random Hannibal Lector quote here)
1989 – Driving Miss Daisy (Oh, Morgan.)
1979 – Kramer vs. Kramer (Just watched three days ago. My inspiration for this project! And the best performance of Dustin Hoffman’s career!)
1977 – Annie Hall (See Crash)
1975 – One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest (Arguably the best Jack Nicholson performance to date?)
1974 – The Godfather: Part 2 (It’s not a lie that it may be the best sequel to ever exist)
1972 – The Godfather
1955 – Marty (I had a professor in college that grilled this movie, so naturally, I had to see it!)

I’m excited, but I’m also scared. Sixty-something films is a lot to take on. Can I hack it? How long until I want to end my own miserable existance? Or maybe I’ll find some sort of creative inspiration throughout the process?

It’s time to finally take the plunge. I’ll see ya in the deep end.