The Spoiler Shield App: Because Spoilers are the Work of Satan

Posted in TV on March 5th, 2014 by Nick

SSTired of your jerk friends on Facebook spoiling Scandal, The Walking Dead, or True Detective for you? (Some people just don’t GET IT!) Well, that ends now.

Spoiler Shield is an app you can download on your smartphone that will allow you to “shield” yourself from posts you’re trying to avoid. You can browse by category to start (Television, Academy Awards, NBA, MLB, NFL, Winter Olympics, etc.). Clicking through then breaks down each category. Since this isn’t a sports blog, clicking on “Television,” for example, gives you options like American Horror Story, Survivor, American Idol, Game of Thrones, Orange is the New Black, How I Met Your Mother and a bunch more. Simply connect the app to your Facebook and Twitter profiles, then click the little switch to turn that shield on for whatever show you’re trying to avoid reading about, and you’re good to go. YOU ARE SPOILER FREE!

It feels good, doesn’t it?  BgiPmerIYAEcvlY.jpg medium

You can also search for the shows you’re looking for, but the major players are all displayed and waiting for your click. (I tried searching for Real World and The Challenge to see if other options existed that weren’t displayed in the category, but nothing came up. Spoiler Shield clearly wants me to stop watching shitty TV.)

Oh, and FYI sports fans – the League categories break down into specific teams. So there’s that too.

Spoiler Shield is free and available to download in the iTunes App Store or Google Play (Chrome Extension, coming soon). It has the power to change lives, people!

 

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Facebook Faux Pas Part Deux: The Oversharing Epidemic Continues

Posted in Dog and Pony Show, things i hate that you should hate too on February 14th, 2013 by Nick

82894449362364757_XcftxUat_cAbout a year ago, I wrote a diatribe against everyone’s favorite social-networking website, Facebook. It wasn’t the site itself that I had a gripe over, but rather, the usage of its power in the wrong hands. My sentiments continued taking up brainspace throughout the year and yet again resurfaced after reading Roger Cohen’s New York Times piece about oversharing back in December. Being an original Facebook launch user and considering the site’s progression and our social evolution because of it, I’ve come to this conclusion: Society is beyond screwed.

I came to this conclusion while perusing the Book of Faces one day, having witnessed one of the most repulsive posts I have ever seen. A Facebook friend was tagged in a photo of a potty training little boy who was finally pooping in his toy training potty. (I don’t even know what to call those fake toilet things because I don’t have kids and that is gross.) Now, because this Mother of the Year tagged my friend, strangers (myself included) were now watching her son shit.

This lady must be off her meds or having a psychotic break because I can’t figure out WHY someone would put their child, half-naked and pooping, on the Internet. I even considered posting that picture here to further press my point, but got too sketched out. But dammit, I should’ve, because that’s what happens when you’re an idiot and post your idiocy on the Internet without the proper privacy controls. Anyone can view your business (uhh, literally in this case) and do with it as they please.

Oversharing on the Web has become an epidemic and there appears to be no cure. I don’t really care what you had for lunch and you can save your photos plans-sound-really-interesting-wedding-ecard-someecardsfor Instagram. I definitely don’t care that you’re tired, cranky and haven’t had your coffee yet. And I couldn’t give any less of a fuck that you’re getting married in six months, found a photographer, sent your invites or found pretty decorations, because bitch, you’re crazy and I feel bad for your husband to be.

Can’t anything just be private anymore? Have we learned nothing from Jodie Foster? The flood gates have opened and there doesn’t seem to be any way to dam them back up. Perhaps sanity-cursed individuals like myself will simply get sick of tiresome, inane posts and branch off, reconnecting with the world around us, meeting for brunches and happy hours while keeping our SmartPhones securely in our pockets or purses. Maybe it’s time to shed ourselves of these open book social media users, who simultaneously complain about the weather, their jobs, and the flu they can’t kick, all while taking duck-faced self portraits of themselves. And don’t get me wrong – I love social media. But maybe it’s time to rejoin and reconnect with society as it was before, or at least have some semblance of boundaries.

I probably sound like a curmudgeon, and surely there will be some who will not agree. This is clearly the opinion of one, and you know what they say: Opinions are like assholes. It’s just that if you’re posting photos of your child’s latest bowel movement on Facebook for the whole world to see, well, you are the asshole.

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How to Remove Babies from Your Facebook News Feed…Finally!

Posted in Check It Out! on August 3rd, 2012 by Nick

Tired of babies crying, sleeping and spitting up all over your Facebook News Feed? Kiss those motherfuckers goodbye thanks to a new Google Chrome add-on developed by Google’s very own Chris Baker, Peter Marquis and Yvonne Cheng! It’s like Christmas in August, you guys!!

OK, OK…that was harsh. But if you’re a late-twenty-something such as myself, surely many of your friends are popping ‘em out faster than you can slam a 12-pack of your favorite Summer Ale. My girlfriend sent me the link to the add-on, coined Unbaby Me, and though it’s not entirely perfect, it’s definitely a step in the right direction.

The add-on searches for baby content on your feed by using keywords such as: toddler, car seat, year old, day care, eating solid foods, and more. You can also customize additional keywords to your liking. The program then removes those posts for you and replaces them with cat photos, dog photos, or any other photo-based RSS feed of your choosing.

Facebook really needs to incorporate a keyword-based filter into their system. Oftentimes, I don’t want to unsubscribe from good friends’ posts, but when our lives are seemingly in two different places, I always wish there was a way to clean up my feed a bit so I can focus on what really matters: bacon, Internet memes, cats and music. People use social media for many different reasons, and we should have a way to filter out specific content, without cutting ties with the people and relationships that we care about.

Kudos, Google! Looks like Zuckerberg has some catching up to do.

Disclaimer: This post isn’t specifically aimed at anyone, so don’t take offense. Your babies are probably lovely when they aren’t screaming, pooping, crying or spreading their germs around. 

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Facebook Faux Pas: Have we no shame?

Posted in To care or not to care on February 21st, 2012 by Nick

I can’t lie: Facebook and I are homies. If Facebook was my ladyfriend, we’d likely share fine milkshakes together while poking, gaming, reading, judging. We’d hold hands firmly and watch suns set, all while pondering where to order cheap, delicious takeout.

Lately, though, I’ve got a gripe. My precious News Feed has been inundated with oversharing – personal posts sent out to the masses, cultivating a social world devoid of any social norms. Where did our boundaries go? Have we no shame anymore? Just because we have the power and ability to share what we had for lunch with all 729 of our friends, acquaintances, family members, and that one kid you met at a concert once doesn’t mean we should. And let’s be honest: Facebook blunders of late have been far less forgivable than the simple photo of the mediocre sushi you consumed yesterday.

Look at the baby. Look at the baby. Yes, I do believe I may have caught one of the 250 photos of your lovely little newborn…that you posted in the last two days. Congratulations on your new addition and all, but your profile picture, featured photos, and status are completely consumed by your Blue Ivy Carter. Frankly, it’s exhausting. If you’re currently pregnant, please spare everyone you’ve ever said “hello” to the creepiness of your sonogram photo. Dude, that’s the inside of you. Excuse me for not wanting to see your uterus. Your Mom may care, but trust me: we don’t.

Mental or physical illness. I’m not a completely cold-hearted bastard, but if you’re a truly close friend and I’m reading about your depression on Facebook, that’s a huge red flag for your wavering sanity. It boggles my mind how many people have such difficulty having real conversations with someone who loves them, but have zero issues spewing awkward life stories, tragedy, or other family dramas all over the Interweb. Yikes, man.

YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED! You and the rest of the world. Spare me with your “472 days until my WEDDING!!!” countdown. I don’t care that you found a florist, a DJ, a caterer, or a venue. If I did, I’d ask about it. In person.  Don’t you ever get tired of talking about yourself? We don’t need a minute-by-minute replay of your planning. Remember in grammar school when you couldn’t hand out invitations to your stupid dinosaur themed birthday party unless you were going to invite everyone? The same should apply to weddings in the world of social networking. The level of wedding-based narcissism on the rise is flabbergasting.

So who cares what this asshole thinks, right? Maybe. But I beg you: Utilize the tools Facebook provides for you! Create customized lists of your core peeps. Target your information, and share with those who truly want to know that your baby just kicked for the first time, or that your Pad Thai was cold by the time you ate it. Create your own Shutterfly or Picasa photo album for your 2-year-old whats-‘er-name. Share with a closer knit circle of people, and prevent pedophiles or sex offenders from peeking at your youngens. It’s called security, people!

Although I love Facebook with all my heart, I’m beginning to view it as a necessary evil. Despite my heightened activity of judging you (which, if you’re keeping up, I mostly think is your fault anyways), I know there are others out there like me, longing for a simpler time. Times they are a-changin’ and I won’t argue – it’s way easier to coast down stream than it is to struggle up river. It’s just that serious, real life grown-up stuff is best shared over a round of tasty beers.

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‘Oregon Trail’ and ‘Carmen Sandiego’ to hit Facebook in Feb.

Posted in Check It Out! on February 1st, 2011 by Nick

Dear friends who play Farmville: No matter how hard I try, I always get attacked by your Farmville updates and various farming bullshit. Now, it’s time for my sweet, sweet revenge.

In the most epic decision of 2011 so far, Blue Fang Games and The Learning Company have decided to bring old school faves “The Oregon Trail” and “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego” to Facebook. The two games are set to hit in February and will incorporate your friends’ scores into your News Feed and own gaming experience.

Hopefully, I don’t get dysentery and die.

Nice knowing ya, productivity.

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TLW’s October MUST List

Posted in Check It Out! on October 20th, 2009 by Nick

Wanna know the best way to hide the fact that you’re not blogging as much as you should be? Have a MUST LIST that encompasses everything you would’ve blogged about over the course of the past few weeks!

The following books, TV shows, movies, and other bits of obscurity should most definitely be checked out by YOU. With no further adieu, I dig the following:

1. Paranormal Activity

PA

The ‘Little Indie Movie That Could’ is continuing to turn heads and scare audiences silly. With a continued nationwide rollout, the film has steadily grossed almost $20 million and currently has an 86% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. (Not bad for a film that cost only $11,000!)

The movie is original, well-written, and brilliantly acted thanks to newcomers Micah Sloat and Katie Featherston. The kicker? It’s actually fucking scary! This is not one to miss out on in the theaters! Check local listings for showtimes as it’ll continue its reach in the upcoming weeks.

2. The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

the_lost_symbol

Brown has his fair share of haters, but “The Lost Symbol” is everything you’d want and expect from a Robert Langdon novel, minus Tom Hank’s really bad mullet-thing. In “Symbol,” Langdon is called to Washington D.C. by a friend, only to realize that his friend has been captured by a mad man seeking the portal to The Ancient Mysteries – a hidden vault of wisdom held secret by the Freemasons of America. Langdon must stay ahead of the psycho and uncover the clues in order to save his friend and protect Washington’s many secrets.

Langdon is mainstream fodder by now, but damn is this a page-turner! And it’s cool for the story to finally head to America for a change.

3. “Anvil: The Story of Anvil” DVD

anvil1

This is the story of two childhood friends and metal heads who have been rockin’ together for 30 years. They’ve inspired bands such as Metallica and Anthrax, and musicians such as Slash and Lemmy, but they never broke or hit the mainstream.  “Anvil: The Story of Anvil” follows the two throughout their everyday lives and tries to examine how a progressive thrash metal band with so much promise never took off.  We see Steve “Lips” Kudlow and Robb Reiner work their boring day jobs while never letting go of their dream. We see remarks from their family, Lars Ulrich, Slash, and fellow co-workers. We see them tour Europe and play to 15 people at a time. In the early 80′s, they once toured with the greats, only to get left behind in the dust waiting for their day to come. But it never did.

The heart and sincerity of this film was quite inspirational. Lips and Reiner’s friendship and the trust they put in each other was touching. Their inability to quit and support from their loved ones truly shined through, creating a very realistic, yet heartbreaking portrayal of one band trying to make it in the harsh, harsh biz that is the music industry. A+ filmmaking. A+ documentary.

4. Survivor: Samoa

SURVIVOR: SAMOA

Season 19 of CBS’s “Survivor” proves to be a hit after the boring dud that was Tocantins. It’s all about the characters! We’ve got Shambo – the mullet-sporting former Marine Sargeant outcast. We had Ben – an ignorant bar manager from California who told a fellow castaway to go eat “ketchup sandwiches.” And then there’s Evil Russell – a oil company owner who doesn’t really care about the money or who he steamrolls over in order to progress his game (Kudos on finding the Hidden Immunity Idol without any clues! Damn, man!)

Gabon was good, not great. Tocantins was a big letdown. That said, Samoa is proving that there’s still some life to this oldie-but-goodie and that CBS should re-up Jeff Probst’s contract (which expires after Season 20′s All Stars 2!)

According to Samoa, the tribe hasn’t quite spoken just yet.

5. The Noisette’s “Wild Young Hearts”

noisettes-wild-young-hearts-466780

Friends and fellow readers are probably sick of me talking about this one so I’ll make it snappy. The Noisette’s follow up to “What’s the Time Mr. Wolf?” proves that the sophomore slump is a thing of the past. “Wild Young Hearts” is eclectic,  groovy, and light-hearted. Shingai Shoniwa’s voice is at its best, while the rhythms and retro-melodies are fresh and invigorating. Download “Wild Young Hearts,” “Never Forget You,” and “Saturday Night” to see for yourselves.

Now if only the band will leave Europe behind and come play stateside..

6. Halloween!

halloween

Best. Holiday. Ever.

Candy, pumpkin carving, heart attack pumpkin seeds, costumes, scares, ghosts and ghouls and the like – Halloween just kicks ass. ‘Tis the one month I actually enjoy living in New England. I’ve got a huge ass pumpkin waiting to be carved, I’ve got Pumpkin Spice Lattes and Pumpkin Ales on the menu, and a plethora of horror flicks to digest.

October is badass.

7.  Zombieland

zombieland

It’s bloody, it’s fun, and the opening credits play “For Whom the Bell Tolls.” And it has ZOMBIES! Need I say more?

Woody Harrelson was a badass southerner, Jesse Eisenberg played a coy college kid way better than Cera ever could, and Abigail Breslin and Emma Stone played a sneaky pair of sisters who conned their way to survival. The movie was funny, extremely entertaining, and had a mysteriously amazing cameo that I will not spoil! Everything in this movie fucking worked.

Vampires are out; Zombies are in.

8. Facebook

facebook-logo

Screw October, Facebook is in it for the long haul. And I must admit: I am Facebook’s bitch.

The countless hours I spend a week snooping around and being generally nosey could probably be better spent, but damn is it addicting. I’ve got all my friends and contacts in one nice, simple, easy-to-read mini-feed that tells me all I need to know to keep up with your life – and sometimes, too much even!

Basically – if I’m not friends with you on Facebook, I question our chances at friendship as the year changes to 2010. To those without Facebook: It was a nice little run we had and I wish you a lifetime of happiness.

9. Parks and Recreation

parks-and-recreation-20090316084914780_640w

When “Parks and Recreation” debuted, it seemed highly doubtful that the show would ever blossom into something of merit. The quirkiness wasn’t quite there, and we weren’t in tune with the characters enough to laugh at their small mannerisms. Upon watching the second season premiere, it was blatantly apparent that this show was going to fight to survive. And if you gave up on it last season, it’s beckoning for you to give it a second chance.

What “Parks” is now accomplishing is truly something to applaud. Utilizing its ensemble cast to the fullest, Amy Poehler and Co. aren’t simply emulating Office-like standards anymore – they’re surpassing them. From Nick Offerman’s deadpan superior Ron Swanson, to intern April Ludgate’s monotone and apathetic  hilarity, “Parks” is truly putting its secondary characters to good use, and that’s something that “The Office” has lots sight of in its past few seasons. (They’re totally overusing Jim, Pam, Andy and Dwight….what about some Kevin and Creed love!?)

Add in the fact that Aziz Ansari and Rashida Jones star in it?  I’d love to hear your reasons for not watching.

10. Foxy Shazam

foxy

Foxy Shazam is an up-and-coming band that nicely blends shredding guitars, staccato keys, and amazing singalong choruses with the perfect hint of mild insanity.  Singer Eric Sean Nally dominates the stage and doesn’t give a fuck if you haven’t heard a single song – he grabs ahold of ya and never lets go.

And yeah…he’s mildly insane.

These guys are on the road with The Sounds and literally destroyed their opening spot in New York City. Their first album, “The Flamingo Trigger,” provides you with a hardcore and thrashy, while at times, abstract feel. Their second LP, my favorite – “Introducing Foxy Shazam” is a bit more structured. From avant-garde, to pop rock, to hardcore…I imagine the experimental rock of Foxy Shazam will continue well into their third record, 2010′s “Au Contraire”.

Download: “Dangerous Man”, “Introducing Foxy Shazam,” and “Wanna-be Angel”. Catch ‘em on the road with The Sounds through November 7th.

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