The Littlest Winslow

The Interweb has brought forth yet another trailer for Rob Zombie’s The Lords of Salem and I can’t quite make up my mind about it:

On the surface, it looks like yet another Zombie film that I’ve already seen before. But that said, I do respect Zombie for his originality and brutality, and definitely think he’s put his own stamp on the Horror genre at large. So…yanno…props.

But can the dude ever stop casting his wife, Sheri Moon? She doesn’t totally suck (I liked her a lot in The Devil’s Rejects, actually), but is she really his muse? There aren’t any better choices out there? Can she even handle a lead like this? Can I even make out what “this” is from that trailer? So many questions.

I’m somewhat intrigued and have my fingers crossed that Zombie has concocted something completely disturbing…but I’m not quite ready to commit to a theater viewing. Am I crazy? Will you be checking out Lords?

The Lords of Salem opens nationwide April 19. 

Last year, I counted down the Friday the 13^th series, starting from the worst and getting down to the nitty gritty – my fave – Friday the 13^th Part 3. This year, I’m taking on the Boogey Man himself: Mr. Michael Myers. This time around, I’m excluding remakes (Sorry, Zombie) while also tossing that third edition, Season of the Witch, by the wayside. Seven spots open. Which film will conquer the rest? Let’s do this.

Remember the time Tyra Banks and Busta Rhymes ruined Halloween? I do. That’s why Halloween: Resurrection, the eight film in the series, gets the #7 position. Halloween H20 didn’t need a follow-up, dammit! I’d much rather live in a state of blissful ignorance, pretending that Rob Zombie’s brutal follow-ups were the only “resurrection” of Michael Myers. And I can’t even talk about that opening death. Tear. Sad face. To everyone involved: You ruined a perfect ending to a nearly perfect series. Damn you all.

6. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. Unlike the Friday series, Halloween movies are all pretty solid in my book. Even though Numero 5 is my next pick for the 6 spot, it’s still a pretty decent film. Continuing the story of Laurie Strode’s daughter Jamie (Danielle Harris) from the fourth film, number 5 proves to be slightly lackluster. It’s chock-full of some good suspense, but minus points for the character Tina being a snooze and also, for the lack of a better ending. Number four is really the best of the Jamie Lloyd saga.

5. Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers. Yes, this movie is kind of a mess. Yes, there are a shitton of various cuts. And no, I haven’t seen them all. But what I like best about The Curse is its dramatic change in tone. It’s darker, cruder, and…oh, hey, Paul Rudd! Though re-watching this movie post-Rudd’s mainstream success kind of distracts from the story, it’s still pretty awesome that they revived the character of Tommy from the original film. I also like the attempt at explaining Michael’s madness – an A for effort, even if it’s choppy. This also marks Donald Pleasance’s last appearance in the series before his real-life death. Second sad face.

4. Halloween H20. This one is a very polarizing entry to the series, but dammit, I’m a full-on supporter. Jamie Leigh Curtis is back as Laurie Strode…err…Keri Tate (she faked her death and went into hiding), a now-headmistress at a posh, secluded private school in the woods somewhere. Though this one has a pretty slow start, look at all the goodies it delivers: Nancy Chambers returns as Dr. Loomis’s colleague from the original, Curtis’s mother, Janet Leigh, co-stars and drives the same car her character did in Psycho (Nerd Alert!), and uh, LL Cool J….no wait – forget that last one. The last 30 minutes are a rollercoaster ride of suspense, and then it ends with a decapitation. Awesome! Pause to reflect once again on how badly Halloween: Resurrection ruined a perfect ending. Go ahead. Think it over. I’ll wait.

Moving on!

3. Halloween 2. A direct sequel to the events of the original, Halloween 2 takes place on the very same night of October 31, 1978, and Michael is still in pursuit of his sister, Laurie Strode. Laurie is relocated to a hospital, where there are plenty of other bodies for Michael to take down. A super strong sequel to an iconic film, I love that it takes place on the same night, and I also love the different setting. Plus, there’s a ton of fire at the end, and as we’ve learned from Beavis and Butt-head, fire is always cool, especially if paired with an explosion. I love this film dearly, but it doesn’t quite make my Top 2.

2. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. If any Halloween fan out there has a bone to pick with my countdown, it’s probably the fact that I’m placing 4 above 2. And I get it. But here’s what I love about 4. Not only did it introduce us to the Scream-Queen-in-the-Making, Danielle Harris, but shit always gets crazy when a small child is involved. Watching a masked serial killer chase down an eight year old just adds an extra layer of terror and suspense. Ellie Cornell, who played Rachel Carruthers, is a huge plus, as is the fast pace of the movie and the changing settings. You get the sense that Rachel and Jamie are actually being chased through the entire movie – through the streets, at the sheriff’s house, in the school. It feels like a lot is happening in this one, and it’s a great ride throughout.

1. Halloween. In this case, the original really takes the cake. Does such an iconic movie even need a reason? Halloween mainstreamed the slasher film and was a true inspiration to so many movies after it. John Carpenter’s chilling score…Michael’s terrifying debut…it’s all so very perfect. Fans of Leatherface or Norman Bates can leave their complaints in the comments section – Halloween is the true Granddaddy of the slasher film and brought the Horror genre in an entirely different direction. It even introduced us to Jamie Leigh Curtis, who went on to star in plenty of other excellent 70′s/80′s horror movies such as Terror Train and Prom Night. For these reasons and so many more, number 1 easily earns top spot on The Littlest Winslow’s Halloween countdown!

So that’s it, kids. There you have it. Agree? Disagree? Holler back and let me know your standings.

Happy Halloween!

When scanning the Netflix instant selection, it’s always a gamble as to A) What you’re going to find on there, and B) How shitty your selected movie is going to be. Grave Encounters was always one I flew by because, well, it looked rather budget. The “found footage” sub-genre is trendy right now given the success of the Paranormal Activity series, so I always exercise some caution on “found footage” films that I’ve never heard of. But I got a recommendation, I gave it a shot, and was pleasantly surprised!

The story follows a camera crew of one of those Travel Channel-type Horror shows where ghost experts and film crews survey haunted areas, claim to hear noises that you don’t really hear, and talk about all of the murderous nasties that used to live and eventually died there. Lance Preston is the host of the fictitious “Grave Encounters” television show, and along with his crew, he investigates a haunted psychiatric hospital in search of paranormal activity in what eventually becomes their last episode ever (we’re told this at the start – not a spoiler).

The scary story behind the haunted hospital surrounds a doctor, Arthur Friedkin, who performed unethical experiments and lobotomies on patients before being overthrown and offed himself. We learn most of this story throughout the first 20-30 minutes – and it’s so terrible! The actors are mediocre at best, and they overact in order to parlay their on-camera personas and faux excitement to their audience. When it’s time to wrap, someone disappears (of course) and the hellish haunts start showing their faces.

As with most found footage movies, there are plenty of make-you-jump scare tactics, and surprisingly, many of them work given the limited lighting and setting. The sounds were also pretty frightening, so make sure you turn this one up to 11. There’s a decent amount of blood and gore, and plenty of freaky happenings that will stick in your mind even post-viewing.

For some reason, ghost flicks like this really get under my skin. Maybe it’s because I believe in this stuff, or maybe it’s because paranormal movies always have a claustrophobic feel to them. Does Grave Encounters feel like a B-movie. Sure. But what lies ahead for this film crew is certainly more twisted and messed up than anything I’ve seen in a Paranormal Activity movie (though arguably, when taken as a series, the Paranormal flicks definitely have more of a story).

Though the found footage technique is a bit hackneyed, Grave Encounters delivered a few eye-rolls and some truly scary moments – just like a good scary movie should!

Grade: B

As I sit here and write this, I feel shame. After a quick search on the site, I am quite honestly horrified that I never took the time to write about one of my favorite Horror movies of all time: Sleepaway Camp. What a special, special movie, and I showed it almost zero love! That changes today.

After this week’s viewing, all of the reasons why I love Sleepaway Camp have come flooding back into cognizance. For those who have never had the privilege of meeting Angela Baker and her cousin Ricky before, Sleepaway Camp is the story about two cousins who go away for the summer to a sleepaway camp, hoping to have the best summer ever! Angela (Felissa Rose) is a survivor of a horrible boating accident that occurred earlier in her childhood. Because of that experience, she is withdrawn and socially awkward, while Ricky (Jonathan Tiersten) is a camp returnee and fits in well among his friends. Shortly after all the campers arrive, a string of murders terrorizes the camp! And to keep it spoiler-free, well, that’s all I can really tell you.

But this isn’t just some Friday the 13^th rip-off, spin-off, or offshoot. Sleepaway Camp offers so much more than meets the eye on a surface level. This movie is even more of a cult favorite than Happy Birthday to Me is. Fans of Sleepaway Camp, I think, appreciate its multifaceted nature. One one hand, it’s a shitty 80’s slasher with a healthy dose of cheese. On another, it’s a twisted, dark and unbelievably demented take on the rest of the slasher flicks that were slicing their way through theaters at the time.

You can love Sleepaway Camp for its surface level cheese, 80’s flair, laughable dialogue and questionable acting. Even if you stop there, you’re in for a treat. Digging deeper, though, I think the movie really sets a perfect tone. It’s dark and dismally shot, and has a chilling score that perfectly accompanies the gritty look of the film. Sure, it’s low budget, but it totally works given the landscape and setting of the movie. The deaths also deliver, with some a little more effective than others. There’s an accident with boiling water, an all-the-way-down-the-back knife slicing, a drowning and even a decapitation. Oftentimes, the movie gives viewers a first-person angle for the stalking and murder scenes, which also adds to the edge and tension of the movie.

And that ending. Holy. Hell.

If you don’t know what I’m referring to, do yourself a favor: Stay off the Internet. Netflix Sleepaway Camp immediately. It’s the surprise ending to end all other surprise endings. Not only will it completely shock you, but it’ll also give you a compelling reason as to why Sleepaway Camp is in a class of its own.

Bonus points for Desiree Gould’s performance as Aunt Martha, a really twisted and oddball character that viewers see in the beginning and end of the movie. But hey – this is a spoiler-free zone!

In my opinion, you’re not a true horror fan unless you have at least seen this movie once. (And purchased the Sleepaway Camp Survival Kit box set. And watched it a zillion times. But I’m a self-proclaimed weirdo.) This is truly one of my genre favorites. There’s a special place in my heart dedicated to this series and I’m thankful for the joy these movies bring into my life upon every viewing.

For newbies diving in, if you’re hungry for more, there are three more films which vary in schlock-level, tone and effectiveness. Although I have a deep respect and love for number two as well, the original film simply can’t be topped.

Grade: A-

When Black Comedy meets Horror, it’s a tricky tightrope to traverse. It could either be the best thing ever (Dead Alive, The Return of the Living Dead), or, well, Basket Case. A friend recommended that I check out Frankenhooker, a 1990 film loosely based around the Frankenstein tale, directed by Frank Henenlotter. Because this friend hits it out of the park every time, I bumped it up to the #1 spot in my queue and dove right in.

The DVD arrived in the mail and I saw something dreadful: “By the creators of Basket Case.” Shit. I hated Basket Case. Hate hate hate. I feel like I’ve seen some pretty terrible Horror and Horror-Comedy movies in my lifetime, but Basket Case just wasn’t fun enough to push it over the edge into the land of memorable filmmaking. In fact, I almost sent it back to Netflix without finishing it and I almost never do that. Alas, I cautiously moved forward on Frankenhooker because of the quality of my source and man, did it pay off!

The movie begins at a party where our lead character Jeffrey (James Lorinz) is fidgeting with an experiment. He’s a scientist and he’s doing some science. There really isn’t much more of an explanation than that. (Dude needs to head outside and grab a beer already!) When Jeffrey finally does hit the outdoors to socialize (reclusive weirdo!), his girlfriend Elizabeth dies in a freak lawnmower accident while trying to show off one of her beau’s toys. Her body is mangled beyond belief and some of her body parts go missing…

…because Jeffery decides to play Frankenstein and reassemble Elizabeth with the bodies of drug-addicted, super-slutty hookers from New York City. But then everyone does crack and shit gets weird. And this is exactly when the magic happens!

Jeffrey hits NYC to find some super-skanks so he can drug them up on “Super Crack” – a high-potent version of crack? (I guess? HA!) What follows is one of the best scenes in B-movie history – a menagerie of drug use, gratuitous nudity, girls making out with each other, and exploding body parts. It’s a scene that every Horror-Comedy fan should watch, love and rejoice in!

At a meager 85 minutes, Frankenhooker is a solid addition to anyone’s Halloween Watch list. It takes the mad scientist film trope and completely turns it upside down, mocks it, and makes a fun go at it. I promised myself I’d use the word “bonkers” somewhere in this blog. So, there’s that too. It’s bonkers!

Grade: B

With the Halloween season upon us, I’m taking a break from the rather exhausting fulfilling Epic Film Quest. I’m switching gears and gorging on horror, rewatching old favorites and Neflixing the shit out of some titles that have somehow escaped my grasp. This past weekend, I reached for the shelf and indulged in one of my faves: the underrated and under loved slasher flick Happy Birthday to Me.

Filmed in Canada circa 1981 by J. Lee Thompson, Happy Birthday to Me was yet another slasher movie attempting to follow in the wake of John Carpenter’s Halloween and the Friday the 13^th series. Although slasher follow-ups had a much larger failure rate than success rate, Happy Birthday to Me excels in so many ways, and we all need to be celebrating this should-be-classic horror film this season.

The movie follows Ginny and the rest of the elite “Top 10” at Crawford Academy – a swanky prep school with a hardass Headmaster and plenty of entitled, spoiled white kids who more-than-likely deserve to die slowly. Ginny suffers from amnesia following a car accident she had with her mother, who died in the crash. Enter a serial killer. As bodies start to pile up, Ginny suffers more trauma as the details of her accident start flooding back. Will they help her figure out who’s behind the bloodshed or will they continue driving her toward the edge of insanity?

Happy Birthday to Me is somewhat lengthy for this sub-genre with a running time of 110 minutes, but in my opinion, most of this time is put to good use. There are plenty of twists and turns right up until the very last shot of the film. Many of the details in the narrative, including Ginny’s memories from the crash, are told via well-placed flashbacks, giving viewers a couple pieces of the puzzle at a time. Melissa Sue Anderson (Little House on the Prairie) is strong as the lead character and carries the film nicely. The deaths also deliver. There are some wonderfully gruesome and creative murders in this flick (“Six of the most bizarre murders you will ever see!”), and the ones that skimp on the gore make the viewer cringe by leaving it all to the mind. And don’t get me started on that brain surgery scene. I shudder every time.

This movie is a cult film by definition. Purists may look down upon the latest DVD release, as it replaced the movie’s original score, but none of the release’s criticisms can take away from what is truly a unique and atypical movie compared to other fare from that time period. It’s twisted in so many ways, and both outlandish and unnerving in all the right spots. And that ending! Fantastic.

Although it’s not my favorite 80’s cult classic (more on that soon!), if you’re looking for a few scares from a movie you’ve never seen before, Happy Birthday to Me is a must. It bleeds the 80’s from its pores, both in the creativity of the killings and its over-the-top twists. Yet, at its heart, it is cult-y goodness, guaranteed.

Grade: B+

The Internet is buzzing around the latest found footage horror flick, V/H/S. One of the first places I heard about the film was over at Horrorella. She writes:

V/H/S is a found footage horror anthology film. You heard me right. An anthology film (Creepshow-style) made up of multiple found-footage-style segments directed by the likes of Ti West, Adam Wingard, Joe Swanberg, Glenn McQuaid, David Bruckner, and Radio Silence. The framing device is that a group of trouble-making assholes is hired to break into this house to steal a rare VHS tape. Amid a mass of VHS tapes in the house, they uncover the various stories featured in this film.

Not only does it sound completely badass, but the trailer looks like its a chilling rollercoaster ride. With Halloween right around the corner, looks like Paranormal Activity 9 or whatever is surely going to have some competition this holiday season!

Rad, right? So like that headline says – V/H/S hits theaters everywhere October 5th. And don’t forget to check out Horrorella for all things Horror and more!

Happy Halloween, every-bodddaaaay! I’ll be spending the night with THE PIXIES, which is way awesome. Watch a Horror movie while OD-ing on candy for me, though!

Halloween is the most badass holiday of them all. I wish I spent this much time decorating for Halloween; it’s a shame I have a life that I deem somewhat important. Regardless, this Party Rocker, whoever he or she is, did a pretty bang up job! I’m glad I get to enjoy it through the powers of YouTube instead of participating in any actual physical or mental work.

Enjoy!

(This post is completely, 100% SPOILER FREE! Read with ease!)

I was only 12 when I saw the first installment of the franchise that would eventually affect my entire outlook on films. It completely transformed the movie-going experience for me – not just in what I watched, but how I watched them and how engrossed I became with them as a result. Scream was really one of the first horror movies my young, naive eyes had ever seen in the theater. After watching Casey Becker (Drew Barrymore) get gutted and hung from a tree for her parents to find, I knew I would never be the same.

From there, I consumed Horror films with a ferocious desire. I completed all of my Slasher homework, rapidly devouring every seminal series in the sub-genre and all of its subsequent sequels and remakes. Thanks to Wes Craven, Kevin Williamson and the Scream series, I truly became a fan of horror, and even more importantly, became a fan of fandom.

Eleven years after the debut of Scream 3, a pivotal crossroads was reached that many series are often faced with. Should there be yet another film? Can a 14-year-old series return to the scene with more bite and more blood (Carnage candy! Your core audience expects it!)? In the case of the Scream series: Yes. Yes, it can.

In the latest edition, everybody’s favorite Final Girl Sidney Prescott returns to Woodsboro to promote her new self-help book, with her snarky publicist in tow (Community‘s delightful Alison Brie). Unsurprisingly, the blood starts flowing, as Sid’s cousin Jill (Emma Roberts) soon finds herself on Ghostface’s radar, along with her friends including party-girl Kirby (Hayden Panettiere) and film geek Charlie (Rory Culkin). (How sweet. Fresh meat.) As Ghostface makes the rounds, Gail and Dewey attempt to solve the crime just like back in the good ol’ days, but must grapple with the new concept at hand: New Decade. New Rules.

Scream 4 unravels with a few anticipated tidbits:  it’s completely self-reflexive, it’s more meta, and it’s  even more of a self-parody than its predecessors, if that was even possible. Though this tends to be thrown in your face at the start, when the action starts, the film does what it does best: create a funny, yet suspense-filled ride that you just can’t get off. A whodunnit of epic proportions! Once strapped in, you’re whisked away, soon remembering why the series made such a huge splash to begin with.

Everything I was nervous about (the new, fresh-faced cast; if the killer and motive would quench my Slasher-deprived thirst; if the story would really serve the need for a fourth film) was alleviated after my midnight viewing last night. I confess, I was an extremely fearful fan almost two years ago when this sequel was initially announced. There were so many ways this could have gone wrong (and not just in terms of plot). However, Craven and Williamson, along with Neve, Courtney and David, simply killed it – pun intended.

As the movie is being marketed, it’s a new trilogy for a new generation! Although I would still argue that the series should end here, I have to wonder. What if there’s another meek and unsuspecting pre-teen out there, who, just like me, will see this movie and be turned on to The Hills Have Eyes, Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Black Christmas…and dare I add it to the list of classics…the original Scream. Could Scream 4 have the same effect on a young, good-intentioned newbie as the first film did on me? And does that warrant the series’ fifth and sixths films? I’m not sure.

In closing, Scream 4 is yet another horror treat, filled with great characters, great dialogue and everything you’d come to expect from a Scream film. In the words of the departed Stu Macher: “It’s a scream, baby!” Even after all these years.