The Littlest Winslow

[Every so often, TLW has guests write in about whatever the snapbracelets they want to write about. This time, Jess wrote in to recommend the Canadian TV show Todd and the Book of Pure Evil. Check it out!]

By Jess Toman

As a lover of horror, I often search Netflix streaming for decent undiscovered fare. The Canadian TV show Todd and the Book of Pure Evil happened to be a rare find. With the tagline: “Fighting Evil with Mixed Results,” I couldn’t resist.

Todd is a metal head and a stoner. He searches for a satanic book that is wreaking havoc throughout his high school. He gets help from his best friend Curtis, who has a prosthetic hand, the hottest girl in school, Jenny, and geeky Hannah who crushes on Todd. He also receives help from Jimmy the janitor, played by Jason Mewes (of Jay and Silent Bob fame), and a group of three older, metal head stoners who sit on their car waiting to help Todd in his quest. The evil guidance counselor Atticus and his cloaked minions try to stop Todd and get the book first.

The school experiences trouble such as a giant baby crushing students, to a medusa penis turning students to stone. Whoever finds the book seems to have their wishes come true, but instead, it usually leads to their demise and the demise of others. (It appears that teachers and parents have no concern whatsoever for all the deaths at the high school either.)

This horror-comedy, full of ridiculous blood and guts, won’t scare you to death, but you are going to laugh out loud. It’s a fun find and I recommend checking it out.

Collaborating is fun! If you have something you want to recommend, discuss, kick around, or force upon the world, holler at me on Facebook or Twitter. Let’s chat and produce stuffs!

This post is spoiler free. 

Sure, Dexter, Homeland, Game of Thrones and Mad Men are worthy competitors, but it’s time to face the facts: American Horror Story is the best show currently on TV.

There. I said it.

Horror may not be everybody’s bag, but Ryan Murphy’s American Horror Story has been consistently delivering all the goodies these other shows have been dishing out and more. More zombie-monster things! More aliens! More World War 2 Nazi Evil Mad Doctors!

It sounds batshit crazy to deem a show like this TV’s reigning champion, but it’s time Horror started getting its due. Horror TV had always been a cult phenomenon. Shows like The Twilight Zone, The X-Files and Buffy the Vampire Slayer broke industry boundaries and paved the way for the television landscape we see today. Oftentimes, they never garnered the proper cred and respect they deserved until way later. In fact, shows like Dexter, True Blood, the upcoming Bates Motel, and more, simply wouldn’t have existed over a decade ago. Thanks to these pioneers, Horror has now bridged the gap between “cult fave” and  the “mainsteam.” Horror TV is here and people love it, and thanks to the creativity of American Horror Story, it’s being taken to an entirely new level.

This season’s Asylum edition of AHS has been a wee bit convoluted at its worst; at its best, it has been a beast harnessing some of the best writing and acting of 2012. This season’s plot surrounds Sister Jude (Jessica Lange) and the patients, doctors and nuns who occupy an institution for the criminally insane called Briarcliff Manor. It’s a completely new storyline from Season 1, yet like its predecessor, the story operates on multiple timelines, jumping back and forth from 1964 to the present. Some of Briarcliff’s inhabitants are morally twisted, like the evil Dr. Arthur Arden (James Cromwell). Others are unjustifiably thrown into the asylum, like Kit Walker (Evan Peters) and Lana Winters (Sarah Paulson), two characters who are trying to right the wrongdoings that put them there. They’re completely sane…or is Briarcliff ridding them of their sanity? Lange’s character this year lies somewhere in between the Good vs. Evil power struggle of the asylum. For Sister Jude, life at Briarcliff is a bit more…complicated. Oh, and then there’s that pesky Devil romping about.

As a result of its ambition and complexity portrayed through the show’s morals, graphic violence and simultaneous plot lines, the show should be a mess. Thanks to Murphy and his writing team, American Horror Story has avoided getting lost in its own insanity, balancing characters and action nicely and knowing when to wrap up certain character’s tales (see: last night’s episode! Hot damn!).

The acting is just as jaw-dropping as its blood and gore. Jessica Lange’s performance in last night’s “The Name Game” was probably one of the best performances I’ve seen. Ever. Her character’s transformation is rather spoilerific, but it’s an acting feat that cannot be missed for any fan of fiction. She deserves every award in the book for this performance. Hell, we need to just make up fake awards and throw ‘em at her. The Jessica Lange Award for Best Acting in a Mini-Series…presented by Jessica Lange. And the winner is: Jessica Lange. And us, of course.

Though Lange is the lead first and foremost, the cast is most definitely an ensemble. She’s surrounded by skilled professionals, most notably Lily Rabe, who plays two characters in one as the devil-possessed Sister Mary Eunice; the aforementioned Cromwell; and Frances Conroy (Six Feet Under) who co-stars as the Angel of Death. Week after week, these actors churn out performances that are…well, to die for. Cheeky, but true.

There’s a lot happening on TV right now. With cable networks producing more and more bankable products like The Walking Dead, Mad Men, and Sons of Anarchy, it’s often hard to break through such stiff competition. But American Horror Story is so unique in its storytelling and design that it must be celebrated. And it’s so refreshing to see such twisted perversion on the small screen without ever sacrificing character or quality.

Grade: A

When scanning the Netflix instant selection, it’s always a gamble as to A) What you’re going to find on there, and B) How shitty your selected movie is going to be. Grave Encounters was always one I flew by because, well, it looked rather budget. The “found footage” sub-genre is trendy right now given the success of the Paranormal Activity series, so I always exercise some caution on “found footage” films that I’ve never heard of. But I got a recommendation, I gave it a shot, and was pleasantly surprised!

The story follows a camera crew of one of those Travel Channel-type Horror shows where ghost experts and film crews survey haunted areas, claim to hear noises that you don’t really hear, and talk about all of the murderous nasties that used to live and eventually died there. Lance Preston is the host of the fictitious “Grave Encounters” television show, and along with his crew, he investigates a haunted psychiatric hospital in search of paranormal activity in what eventually becomes their last episode ever (we’re told this at the start – not a spoiler).

The scary story behind the haunted hospital surrounds a doctor, Arthur Friedkin, who performed unethical experiments and lobotomies on patients before being overthrown and offed himself. We learn most of this story throughout the first 20-30 minutes – and it’s so terrible! The actors are mediocre at best, and they overact in order to parlay their on-camera personas and faux excitement to their audience. When it’s time to wrap, someone disappears (of course) and the hellish haunts start showing their faces.

As with most found footage movies, there are plenty of make-you-jump scare tactics, and surprisingly, many of them work given the limited lighting and setting. The sounds were also pretty frightening, so make sure you turn this one up to 11. There’s a decent amount of blood and gore, and plenty of freaky happenings that will stick in your mind even post-viewing.

For some reason, ghost flicks like this really get under my skin. Maybe it’s because I believe in this stuff, or maybe it’s because paranormal movies always have a claustrophobic feel to them. Does Grave Encounters feel like a B-movie. Sure. But what lies ahead for this film crew is certainly more twisted and messed up than anything I’ve seen in a Paranormal Activity movie (though arguably, when taken as a series, the Paranormal flicks definitely have more of a story).

Though the found footage technique is a bit hackneyed, Grave Encounters delivered a few eye-rolls and some truly scary moments – just like a good scary movie should!

Grade: B

The Walking Dead premiered this week and from a ratings perspective, the outlook is good. Very good.  The third season premiere attracted 10.9 million viewers (a mind-blowing number for cable!), defending its title as the most successful basic cable drama of all time in the adult demo. But dammit, it’s time to spit some truth on this zombie craze.

The Walking Dead tells the tale of Rick Grimes, his family, and a slew of survivors of a blood-splattering, intestine-eating zombie apocalypse. The show is an adaptation of a monthly black and white comic book series, created by Robert Kirkman, who also serves as an Executive Producer on the show. Although the show captures some of the meat of the books, I still feel like the true guts of the story remain largely uneaten.

When the show first hit our living rooms, it was a huge victory for the Horror genre. A television show about zombies was being produced and was actually going to air! The books had a steady fan base, zombies were the new rising trend, and Kirkman and effects master Greg Nicotero were both signed on. Epic win! Although I enjoy The Walking Dead enough, I still can’t get over the fact that the show isn’t living up to its full potential. Sure, the zombies look great, the blood and gore is spot on, but much of the characterization of our beloved survivors is gone. I’m not loving the cast (Laurie Holden’s Andrea is my favorite, yet I fight the urge to fast forward every time Sarah Wayne Callies opens her mouth), or the adaptations of who these characters are. It’s very telling when comic book art can present more emotion than actors and actresses on screen, but in this case, the book’s art and writing really do win out.

It’s also no surprise that Season 2 had pacing problems. We searched for Sophia for what seemed like an eternity, and even when words were exchanged, the series really wasn’t saying much – about society, or about the lives and relationships of these people we’re peering in on. It doesn’t feel cohesive. The only true emotional punch this show delivered was the shocking discovery that Sophia was a zombie, hidden inside Herschel’s barn. Once we got over the awesomeness of zombies on TV, viewers waited a full season and a half before getting a shocking, real, emotional payoff.

Season three’s premiere episode got “back to its roots” of killing zombies. Though I love some delicious violence, this running, gun toting, and stab-y goodness begins to lose its effectiveness when the characters behind it aren’t as strong as they could be…and should be. Because of this, the tension has dissipated. The show really needs to tighten up and dig deep inside of these characters in order to highlight the traits that readers of the book know and love. There’s still so much more potential hidden in this narrative than what we’ve been presented with.

Perhaps my standards are too high. Maybe shows like Mad Men, Homeland and Dexter have raised my expectations. Or maybe there’s just too much competition in TV nowadays. Let’s face it – Rick Grimes is no Don Draper. Although I still watch The Walking Dead, I don’t crave it like I do when the gang from Sterling Cooper Draper Price returns. And being such a Horror fan at heart, I really wish I did.

It’s the gift that every child should own!

Thanks to the NeatoShop, you can own this cute (?) and cuddly (??) zombified monster for $49.95.  It’s mostly plush, with vinyl bones, entrails and skull. So…uh…it’s mostly cuddly?

The size is 18″ x 16″ x 7″ and there’s only 2 left, so grab it quick before it decomposes forever!

Thanks to Lauren for the tip!

As I sit here and write this, I feel shame. After a quick search on the site, I am quite honestly horrified that I never took the time to write about one of my favorite Horror movies of all time: Sleepaway Camp. What a special, special movie, and I showed it almost zero love! That changes today.

After this week’s viewing, all of the reasons why I love Sleepaway Camp have come flooding back into cognizance. For those who have never had the privilege of meeting Angela Baker and her cousin Ricky before, Sleepaway Camp is the story about two cousins who go away for the summer to a sleepaway camp, hoping to have the best summer ever! Angela (Felissa Rose) is a survivor of a horrible boating accident that occurred earlier in her childhood. Because of that experience, she is withdrawn and socially awkward, while Ricky (Jonathan Tiersten) is a camp returnee and fits in well among his friends. Shortly after all the campers arrive, a string of murders terrorizes the camp! And to keep it spoiler-free, well, that’s all I can really tell you.

But this isn’t just some Friday the 13^th rip-off, spin-off, or offshoot. Sleepaway Camp offers so much more than meets the eye on a surface level. This movie is even more of a cult favorite than Happy Birthday to Me is. Fans of Sleepaway Camp, I think, appreciate its multifaceted nature. One one hand, it’s a shitty 80’s slasher with a healthy dose of cheese. On another, it’s a twisted, dark and unbelievably demented take on the rest of the slasher flicks that were slicing their way through theaters at the time.

You can love Sleepaway Camp for its surface level cheese, 80’s flair, laughable dialogue and questionable acting. Even if you stop there, you’re in for a treat. Digging deeper, though, I think the movie really sets a perfect tone. It’s dark and dismally shot, and has a chilling score that perfectly accompanies the gritty look of the film. Sure, it’s low budget, but it totally works given the landscape and setting of the movie. The deaths also deliver, with some a little more effective than others. There’s an accident with boiling water, an all-the-way-down-the-back knife slicing, a drowning and even a decapitation. Oftentimes, the movie gives viewers a first-person angle for the stalking and murder scenes, which also adds to the edge and tension of the movie.

And that ending. Holy. Hell.

If you don’t know what I’m referring to, do yourself a favor: Stay off the Internet. Netflix Sleepaway Camp immediately. It’s the surprise ending to end all other surprise endings. Not only will it completely shock you, but it’ll also give you a compelling reason as to why Sleepaway Camp is in a class of its own.

Bonus points for Desiree Gould’s performance as Aunt Martha, a really twisted and oddball character that viewers see in the beginning and end of the movie. But hey – this is a spoiler-free zone!

In my opinion, you’re not a true horror fan unless you have at least seen this movie once. (And purchased the Sleepaway Camp Survival Kit box set. And watched it a zillion times. But I’m a self-proclaimed weirdo.) This is truly one of my genre favorites. There’s a special place in my heart dedicated to this series and I’m thankful for the joy these movies bring into my life upon every viewing.

For newbies diving in, if you’re hungry for more, there are three more films which vary in schlock-level, tone and effectiveness. Although I have a deep respect and love for number two as well, the original film simply can’t be topped.

Grade: A-

When Black Comedy meets Horror, it’s a tricky tightrope to traverse. It could either be the best thing ever (Dead Alive, The Return of the Living Dead), or, well, Basket Case. A friend recommended that I check out Frankenhooker, a 1990 film loosely based around the Frankenstein tale, directed by Frank Henenlotter. Because this friend hits it out of the park every time, I bumped it up to the #1 spot in my queue and dove right in.

The DVD arrived in the mail and I saw something dreadful: “By the creators of Basket Case.” Shit. I hated Basket Case. Hate hate hate. I feel like I’ve seen some pretty terrible Horror and Horror-Comedy movies in my lifetime, but Basket Case just wasn’t fun enough to push it over the edge into the land of memorable filmmaking. In fact, I almost sent it back to Netflix without finishing it and I almost never do that. Alas, I cautiously moved forward on Frankenhooker because of the quality of my source and man, did it pay off!

The movie begins at a party where our lead character Jeffrey (James Lorinz) is fidgeting with an experiment. He’s a scientist and he’s doing some science. There really isn’t much more of an explanation than that. (Dude needs to head outside and grab a beer already!) When Jeffrey finally does hit the outdoors to socialize (reclusive weirdo!), his girlfriend Elizabeth dies in a freak lawnmower accident while trying to show off one of her beau’s toys. Her body is mangled beyond belief and some of her body parts go missing…

…because Jeffery decides to play Frankenstein and reassemble Elizabeth with the bodies of drug-addicted, super-slutty hookers from New York City. But then everyone does crack and shit gets weird. And this is exactly when the magic happens!

Jeffrey hits NYC to find some super-skanks so he can drug them up on “Super Crack” – a high-potent version of crack? (I guess? HA!) What follows is one of the best scenes in B-movie history – a menagerie of drug use, gratuitous nudity, girls making out with each other, and exploding body parts. It’s a scene that every Horror-Comedy fan should watch, love and rejoice in!

At a meager 85 minutes, Frankenhooker is a solid addition to anyone’s Halloween Watch list. It takes the mad scientist film trope and completely turns it upside down, mocks it, and makes a fun go at it. I promised myself I’d use the word “bonkers” somewhere in this blog. So, there’s that too. It’s bonkers!

Grade: B

With the Halloween season upon us, I’m taking a break from the rather exhausting fulfilling Epic Film Quest. I’m switching gears and gorging on horror, rewatching old favorites and Neflixing the shit out of some titles that have somehow escaped my grasp. This past weekend, I reached for the shelf and indulged in one of my faves: the underrated and under loved slasher flick Happy Birthday to Me.

Filmed in Canada circa 1981 by J. Lee Thompson, Happy Birthday to Me was yet another slasher movie attempting to follow in the wake of John Carpenter’s Halloween and the Friday the 13^th series. Although slasher follow-ups had a much larger failure rate than success rate, Happy Birthday to Me excels in so many ways, and we all need to be celebrating this should-be-classic horror film this season.

The movie follows Ginny and the rest of the elite “Top 10” at Crawford Academy – a swanky prep school with a hardass Headmaster and plenty of entitled, spoiled white kids who more-than-likely deserve to die slowly. Ginny suffers from amnesia following a car accident she had with her mother, who died in the crash. Enter a serial killer. As bodies start to pile up, Ginny suffers more trauma as the details of her accident start flooding back. Will they help her figure out who’s behind the bloodshed or will they continue driving her toward the edge of insanity?

Happy Birthday to Me is somewhat lengthy for this sub-genre with a running time of 110 minutes, but in my opinion, most of this time is put to good use. There are plenty of twists and turns right up until the very last shot of the film. Many of the details in the narrative, including Ginny’s memories from the crash, are told via well-placed flashbacks, giving viewers a couple pieces of the puzzle at a time. Melissa Sue Anderson (Little House on the Prairie) is strong as the lead character and carries the film nicely. The deaths also deliver. There are some wonderfully gruesome and creative murders in this flick (“Six of the most bizarre murders you will ever see!”), and the ones that skimp on the gore make the viewer cringe by leaving it all to the mind. And don’t get me started on that brain surgery scene. I shudder every time.

This movie is a cult film by definition. Purists may look down upon the latest DVD release, as it replaced the movie’s original score, but none of the release’s criticisms can take away from what is truly a unique and atypical movie compared to other fare from that time period. It’s twisted in so many ways, and both outlandish and unnerving in all the right spots. And that ending! Fantastic.

Although it’s not my favorite 80’s cult classic (more on that soon!), if you’re looking for a few scares from a movie you’ve never seen before, Happy Birthday to Me is a must. It bleeds the 80’s from its pores, both in the creativity of the killings and its over-the-top twists. Yet, at its heart, it is cult-y goodness, guaranteed.

Grade: B+

The Internet is buzzing around the latest found footage horror flick, V/H/S. One of the first places I heard about the film was over at Horrorella. She writes:

V/H/S is a found footage horror anthology film. You heard me right. An anthology film (Creepshow-style) made up of multiple found-footage-style segments directed by the likes of Ti West, Adam Wingard, Joe Swanberg, Glenn McQuaid, David Bruckner, and Radio Silence. The framing device is that a group of trouble-making assholes is hired to break into this house to steal a rare VHS tape. Amid a mass of VHS tapes in the house, they uncover the various stories featured in this film.

Not only does it sound completely badass, but the trailer looks like its a chilling rollercoaster ride. With Halloween right around the corner, looks like Paranormal Activity 9 or whatever is surely going to have some competition this holiday season!

Rad, right? So like that headline says – V/H/S hits theaters everywhere October 5th. And don’t forget to check out Horrorella for all things Horror and more!

Mostly everything you’ve already heard about The Cabin in the Woods is true. Yes, it’s almost impossible to truly showcase the film’s depth without getting all spoiler-y. Yes, Joss Whedon (and co-writer/director Drew Goddard) has done it again, creating one of the most unique and visual horror experiences in years. Yes, Cabin is perhaps the most self-aware and satirical horror film since the original Scream. And finally, YES: You. Should. Go. See. It.

The movie begins just as every other B-, C-, and D-level fright flick does: A group of stereotypical youngsters heads out to a remote location for some beer drinking and pot smoking, only to find themselves being hunted down by…something. There’s a jock, a stoner, a school girl, the nice guy, and a slut. But why do these stereotypes and conventions even exist? And why does this genre, in particular, continuously belabor such tedious cliches? Cabin attempts to answer these questions, and more, while simultaneously poking fun at itself throughout.

If that’s not meta enough for you, Cabin‘s layered twists and turns will constantly have you shaking your head and guessing which 180 degree deviation it’s going to take next. Besides the many death traps for our beloved cast of predictables, a certain company of techies seem to know much more about the cabin’s secrets. Richard Jenkins (Six Feet Under) and Bradley Whitford (The West Wing) play the two leaders of this mission, who are somehow manipulating the cabin and its inhabitants, leading the kids to more danger and almost certain death. It’s like a “Choose Your Own Adventure” novel for these hapless suckers, one seemingly without any possibility for a happy ending. What is this company, and why are they doing this?

So many questions, so little time! At a meager 95 minutes, the movie moves so fast that before you even have a chance to get a handle on what’s going down, it zigs right when you thought it would zag. As one tagline for the film says: “You think you know the story.” I assure you: You thought wrong.

This movie sat on the shelf for almost three years thanks to a clusterfuck at MGM (the film was later sold to Lionsgate for distribution). But thank the movie gods above for allowing this piece of brilliance to come to light. What a breath of fresh air Cabin is, for the film’s creators, for the audience, and for the genre at large. In a sea of reboots, remakes, and widely unoriginal screenplays, The Cabin in the Woods proves that there’s still life left in a genre that has been left for dead more times than Jason Voorhees.