Tonight on Lost:

Sayid got into a fight. Then ran into the jungle cuz the Asian Dude told him to. Then he ran in the jungle back to the temple cuz Fake Locke (FLocke) told him too. Ninety percent of the characters you care about weren’t in the episode. Then Sayid was evil (already knew it) along with Claire (um…duh) because they’re following FLocke, who’s also the Monster. Then, more people ran in the jungle. Unimportant people died. And then the baddies left.

That is exactly what I got out of tonight’s episode of Lost (read: nothing), and boy, do I wish I never even started watching this clusterfuck in the first place. I’m not alone either.  I can’t even begin to explain…oh, wait. I can.

The disconnect between Lost now and Lost then is just too large to make it one cohesive narrative. The gap between Seasons 1/2 is world’s apart from 3/4 which is a gigantic stretch from 5/6. What show are we even watching anymore? Producers keep adding things (the Temple, the Lighthouse, more secondary and tertiary characters) instead of dealing with what’s important – the CHARACTERS.

This show was such a character-driven show at one point. The flashbacks were amazing at the beginning – a great insight to who these people were and why their present actions were shaped by their past. The flash fowards proved to be even less powerful. And the flash sideways, though intriguing in the first episode of Season 6, are just telling us what we already know. Sayid was bad in the past, he is bad in the future, and he’s currently bad in the present. All realities mirror each other. The good guys (Jack, Hurley, etc) may be changed men and women in the end because they’re good, and white prevails, and yada, yada, yada..

What about the cheap tactics employed in the Sideways clips too? Oh, wow! Jin’s in the freezer! Oh my! Ben is at Locke’s school! Who cares!? Seriously? The same ploys are being reused over and over again and we’re supposed to be giddy with anticipation?

I’m just not buying it anymore. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking about how “brilliant” the show is, because some characters have philosophical names and because the producers read a book or two. Whatever. What is this show even saying anymore? About human nature? About reality? At the end of the day, what are we taking away from it? The confusion and “mystery” of it all is just clouds better judgment. It’s all just smoke and mirrors hiding the fact that there is absolutely zero substance to this show anymore. A story that should’ve been told in three or four seasons was stretched to six; my patience was stretched as well.

The producers have decided that they aren’t talking about the finale after it airs. Pulling a Sopranos on us, are ya? Awesome. That doesn’t bode well, guys. By not really knowing what kind of show they were making from the get-go, the writers and producers have dug themselves into a hole from which there is no return. And by their admitted silence come May 23, they are well aware of it. Return to sender. Cancel transaction. Hit the road, Jack.

I personally can’t wait to leave this jungle. For good this time.