It’s Friday the 13th and to celebrate this slam-tastic holiday-of-sorts, The Littlest Winslow is counting down the best of the Friday the 13th series, starting with the barely watchable installments that everybody loves to hate, and making our way to the #1, bloodiest, most badass of the series! (Yes, haters…I’m even counting in the remake and that gruesome battle with Freddy as part of the canon.) Buckle up kids; it’s gonna be a bumpy and bloody ride.

12) Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning (1985): Can we just save ourselves a lot of time and agree that this is THE worst of the series? Jason isn’t even the killer. If you don’t agree to call shenanigans on this one, then sir or madam….I will fight you.

11) Jason Goes to Hell (1993): Damn this movie to hell. Fangoria is quoted on my DVD’s ugly, orange cover saying: “This has the most incredible ending we’ve ever seen.” Really? Ever? Well, I think it sucked. Hardcore. That whole mutant-Jason thingie crawling into other people? Snooze. The only saving grace of this film is Freddy’s claw rising up from the ground to grab Jason’s mask, therefore setting up Freddy Vs. Jason. Besides that, this movie made me wish the series went to Hell….and never came back.

10) Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood (1988): This one doesn’t totally suck, but it’s really not that great either. The thing is, it’s just entirely forgettable. Telekinesis? Meh. It does mark the first appearance of Kane Hodder as Jason, though, so brownie points for that.

9) Friday the 13th (remake, 2009): I know this installment gets a lot of flack (the fact that Michael Bay’s name is included is probably the most frightening part), and it’s mostly deserving. I did like a few things, however. Jason was definitely more intense in this film – similar to Zombie’s take on the Halloween series. I also liked how the movie included bits of the first three originals, so that was pretty well-constructed. The main issue is that the first group of kids that get murdered are waaaaay more loveable and interesting than the main cast that Jason then turns his eye on. Great opening act, but the movie runs far too long at 106 minutes. Bad call.8/7) Tie: Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan and Jason X (1989 and 2002): I honestly can’t place one of these ahead of the other. They are the two in the series that I love to hate. They are the silliest and campiest of the series by far. Jason X is in space, for cryin’ out loud, and the Manhattan film is just a walking 80’s cliche…on a boat…that ends up in a sewer? Bitches must’ve been high when they wrote that shit! They’re great for a laugh though, proving to be enjoyable time and time again!

6) Freddy Vs. Jason (2003): I have a feeling that I might get some shit for placing this so high, but hear me out. It stars Robert Englund in his final performance as Freddy Kruger (tear)! That alone gives it some cred. The cast was pretty OK (minus that Destiny’s Child member), and the story, solid – Freddy needed to use Jason to gain his strength back. Negative 1,000 points for not having Hodder back as Jason though. But for anyone arguing that this movie deserves to rest higher up on this list with the other stinkers, I beg you to rewatch the final battle scene of two of the 80’s most iconic horror slashers in history. It was an epic feat…and a treat.

5) Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives (1986): Part 6 sees the return of the character Tommy Jarvis – the youngster originally portrayed by Corey Feldman who killed Jason Voorhees in Part 4. Yanno. One of those 12 times. I’m not sure why I like Part 6 so much. I’m a sucker for old characters making it back, plus it had a cool ending with tons of fire and cool deaths.

4) Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter (1984): What can I say? Corey Feldman, man. Whenever you add a little kid, it always adds a nice layer of tension (Danielle Harris, Halloween 4 and 5, anyone?). The family aspect of this movie gave us a bit of a diversion from the fare we were fed before. I also liked the character Rob, a hiker dude out to get revenge for the death of his sister in Part 2. I love these little connections. A great film, all around!

3) Friday the 13th Part 2: (1981): Baghead Jason! I love, love, love Baghead Jason! I also love Amy Steel as the lead character Ginny. I love the end chase scene, especially the part where Ginny puts on Mrs. Voorhees sweater and pretends to be Jason’s gross Mom. Classic. Worthy of a spot in the Top 3, for sure.

2) Friday the 13th (1980): Sound the alarm: The original film is not my #1. I still love this movie, though. Betsy Palmer. Does it get any better than her performance as Mrs. Voorhees? It’s just a shame she’s actually in so little of the film. Adrienne King is wonderful as Alice, making her the perfect Final Girl. Victor Miller’s script is excellent too – the big reveal (that it’s actually Jason’s mother out killing those counselors – spoiler alert!) was really well done, perhaps even ahead of its time! Oh, yeah, and Kevin Bacon is in it. Gotta love it!

1) Without further ado, I have deemed Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982) to be my favorite of the series. Along with that Freddy debacle, I feel this may also need a bit of defending. In Part 3, Jason finally…finally!…gets to don his iconic mask. The mask known around the WORLD. This was one of the classic horror flicks I remember as a child. The terror of the mask, the eerie barn setting, that pitchfork! (Ouch!)  It’s got some great deaths (the bikers) and an amazing final chase scene. I can recall Jason robbing me of my precious childlike sleep and terrorizing my dreams. I can remember being a mini-me version of myself, horrified of the door-length poster of Jason my cousin had hanging up on the outside of his bedroom, as I clutched my face with my hands to cover my eyes, hoping to not catch a peek of Mr. Voorhees. Scary stuff for a little tyke, man.

Holler back, fright-fans. What’s your favorite of the series? What are your earliest hockey-mask-fueled memories or nightmares? Give me your rankings!  I love this series with all my heart and shall gloriously revisit my old, masked friend this Friday the 13th! I hope you do too.

Stay alive!