Usually I wait until July before I start abandoning the ol’ blog here for sunshine and fun outdoor times. But May happened in a big way and I missed a bunch of bitchin’ stuff to mention, comment on, celebrate, and cry over. So why not post another installment of Happening Shit*? HORRAY.

(*Shit may have Happened a couple weeks ago. Deal with it. I mean, THANKS FOR READING!)

Let’s start talking about all the things!

Michael Jackson Releases An Album FROM THE GRAAAAVE

Michael Jackson’s Xscape released a couple weeks ago, and even though Patrick Carney is pissin’ and moanin’ (shocker), I actually kind of like the album! The tracks feel very MJ, despite the contemporary production behind them. So if you’re looking for a dose of the 80’s or are an MJ superfan, you’ll probably want to check it out (even if it was made just so LA Reid could buy a new boat).

In other news – those Michael/Freddie Mercury tracks still exist out there in the universe somewhere…but they were regrettably left off the Xscape tracklist. Bummer, dudes. That said, I guess we can count on a third posthumous MJ release?

Community…is NOT Happening Anymore

I can’t even bring myself to say it. Community is can…it’s…CANCELLED. Fuck everyone and everything that led to such a terrible decision. First Happy Endings and now my favorite study group. Sadness prevails. I am gutted. That said, I will watch this video every day until an airplane toilet seat falls out of the sky and kills me. RIP, you guys.

Jack White Defies Gravity, Becomes an X-Men, Cures Cancer and Solves World Hunger

Jack White is like Voldemort, Magneto, and Katniss Everdeen all in one. And while I realize that that doesn’t make sense at all, I just mean to say that dude is a motherfuckin’ sorcerer. On June 10, White will release his second solo album called Lazaretto and in case you haven’t already heard and worshiped, it’s going to be insane. Here are some of the features this “Ultra LP” is boasting:

– 180 gram vinyl
– 2 vinyl-only hidden tracks hidden beneath the center labels
– 1 hidden track plays at 78 RPM, one plays at 45 RPM, making this a 3-speed record 
– Side A plays from the inside out
– Dual-groove technology: plays an electric or acoustic intro for “Just One Drink” depending on where needle is dropped. The grooves meet for the body of the song.
– Matte finish on Side B, giving the appearance of an un-played 78 RPM record
– Both sides end with locked grooves
– Vinyl pressed in seldom-used flat-edged format
– Dead wax area on Side A contains a hand-etched hologram by Tristan Duke of Infinity Light Science, the first of its kind on a vinyl record
– Absolutely zero compression used during recording, mixing and mastering
– Different running order from the CD/digital version
– LP utilizes some mixes different from those used on CD and digital version

Hologram!? Playing from the inside out? White has reinvented the vinyl record as we know it. If the album can back up all this badassery, we can begin carving White’s face out of rock and displaying it high on a mountaintop for all to see.

If you’d like some more information, check out this video. (Though it would’ve been cooler for the disc to just appear on the Web without explanation, you can tell White is passionate and super excited about it. So I’m cool to geek out with him.)

You can pre-order the album here.

Summertime is afoot, and I promise to blog while my sunscreen is seeping into my skin. Because no one likes a farmer’s tan…or a sad, desolate blog.