Crossed a huge one off the list, you guys – 1942’s Casablanca. It’s hard for me to even judge this one. It was just something that had to be done – a film that I should’ve seen years ago, yet there’s not much to say about it really. Maybe it’s because it’s Friday afternoon right now, but there’s just not much to write about here. I viewed it with my financelady who kept reminding me: “This is a famous quote” and “This is a famous scene” and I was like “IIIIIIIIIIII KNOWWWW!” I just wanted to pinch her cheeks.

The hour-forty-something journey was “the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” Ingrid Bergman walked into Humphrey Bogart’s gin joint, “Here’s lookin’ at you kid” and yada, yada yada. Is it wrong to “yada, yada, yada” one of the greatest films of all time? It’s not that I disliked Casablanca. Maybe it hasn’t aged well? Maybe I’m not that big of a romantic? I don’t know, dear readers. I’m glad to have watched it, but probably wouldn’t go back for seconds.

In lieu of my rapidly deteriorating commentary, I decided to make the world’s first ever (I have no idea if this is true) Casablanca rap. Boom. Check it.

“My name is Rick and I’m here to say,
cause probs in my joint, you’ll be on your way!
Germans ain’t welcome, but I won’t deny
that if you fuck with Ilsa, I’ll stab a fork in your eye!

I got passports and docs and such,
I don’t stick my neck out for peeps, but I’ll do it fo’ the Dutch!

Banged this chick way back in France
We galavanted ’round and did the no-pants dance!
But her husband turned out was in fact alive
so she left me high and dry, bounced out, how jive!

“Get on the plane,” I said with disdain,
You’ll regret it eventually was my only refrain.
She left again, No need to cry,
Epic Film Quest hit u in the muthatruckin’ EYE.

PEACE.