I don’t even know how to begin this post.

Yes: 80’s popstars Debbie Gibson and Tiffany are in this SyFy original movie, playing nemeses.
Yes: This movie is the biggest shitshow since Debbie starred in another riveting B-movie classic, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus.
And yes: I watched the entire thing.

So it goes like this: Nikki (Gibson) is an “environmentalist”. She releases some exotic pythons into the Florida Everglades. Smart move. Sheriff Terry (Tiffany) decides to beef up some gators with steroids so that the gators will take care of the snake population, which is now large and in charge. Instead of eating each other, the snakes and gators eat people instead. /end film.

The movie is filled with everything you’d expect: Cheesy effects, horrid dialogue, and multiple monsters eating people. For these reasons alone, the movie delivers beyond expectation. But then, there’s THIS:

It’s the gift that keeps on giving! The nod to “I Think We’re Alone Now”? Classic. The movie also has a ref to Gibson’s “Only in My Dreams”. Even greater perfection.

Catch a repeat on SyFy. Grab a few beers, and preferably, a few friends too. Love, laugh, and stare at Tiffany’s cleavage throughout. Enjoy!