I’ll take “Things Nightmares Are Made Of” for $500, Alex.

To celebrate the news of ABC’s upcoming The Muppets TV show, I thought it’d be…”fun” isn’t the right word. “Cool?” Ehh, this setup seems a little sweaty. Like the entire run of “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah.”

In fact, I don’t know why I’m even creating this post because these Muppets with people eyes really creep me out. The Gonzo one is the creepiest…so just wait for that one, OK? JUST WAIT FOR IT.

Let’s start from the most normal Muppets and work our way up, shall we? Statler and Waldorf actually look sort of normal. Sure, they’re still judging the shit out of all my life choices, but that’s kinda their jam.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kermit‘s eyes are blue and I guess that’s a little comforting, but what really puts me at ease is his friendly smile. I still wouldn’t want to be in the same room alone with this oddly friendly amphibian, but hey, things could be a lot worse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t trust this motherfucker ONE BIT. Big Bird‘s people eyes look like they want to touch my no-no parts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOPE. UH-UH.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OK, so FUCK THIS GUY, right!? This version of Gonzo looks like he loves meth and participated in an orgy in Meet the Feebles. This dude would probably cut out my organs if he could sell them on the black market for some syringes and acid. There is nothing about this photo that doesn’t make me want to sleep with a nightlight on tonight. Ponder what went wrong in poor Gonzo’s life as you lay down to sleep tonight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whoever created this tumblr is both awesome and twisted. I like it.