Scratch that. It’s not me, it’s them! I feel like the entire cast is on drugs.

Kristina finds the idol. Smart. Kristina tells Phillip!? The dude obviously has serious mental problems and delusions of grandeur! Bad move. Really, really bad move.

Kristina and “Franquesca” continue unraveling until they get to the most ridiculous tribal council I have ever fucking seen. Note to the extremely psychotic former “federal agent” Phillip: You…it’s…..YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SHOW EVERYONE YOUR CARDS. Have you ever seen this show ever? Do you even have a poker face? Stupid, stupid, stupid. I’ve never seen anything like it.

What was with all the “What if Jane had a chance to re-enter the game!” and “Brenda could’ve rejoined with Chase and blah blah blah”? It’s almost as if CBS and the producers were trying to convince us that the worst twist Survivor has ever seen is actually a smart one. Did we learn nothing from Pearl Island’s Outcasts twist? I hate this. I don’t think I’ll ever like it. If this carries over into future seasons, I really think my love for the show may start to waiver. Sadness.

At this rate, we might as well hand Russell or Rob the $1 million. They don’t deserve it, but at least they’re smart individuals. It pains me, gentle readers. The episode was laughable! I was laughing! And Probst was sitting there smiling all the way to the bank.

Looks like you’ve done it again, Probsty.