A month ago, I wrote a review of the latest installment of Survivor in which I uttered these memorable and prophetic words: “Survivor South Pacific doesn’t suck.” (So deep – I knowwww!) With last night’s finale and live reunion special, I take pride in standing by my original sentiments, because not only did this season not suck – it kicked some major ass.
Not since Heroes Vs. Villains had I been so invested in the cast of characters and their scheming; Not since Heroes Vs. Villains was there a final challenge so action-packed and gripping that you had no idea who was going to take the glory. When all was said and done, Jeff Probst tallied the votes and declared Sophie Clarke, the 22-year-old medical student, the Sole Survivor!
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Sophie’s win on this here blog, because dammit, this season really stands as a series-savior for me. Sophie was always in tune to what everyone else in her tribe was doing. She was part of an alliance of five from Day 1 and stood with that alliance right until the end. She won immunity challenges at crucial moments in the game, the last of which took down the Oz-meister himself. Again: She beat Ozzy in a very physical, yet also very mental challenge. She suffered a minor meltdown, took an emotional and verbal beat down, starved, fought, won. Kudos, Sophie – you deserved it!
Coach played a great hand, but it fell a little too short. With all of his spiritual and religious superiority abound, he couldn’t get around actions and words that others later perceived as hypocritical. But hats off to The (Former) Dragon Slayer: It was the best game of his three-time Survivor career and I enjoyed watching him again.
Brandon Hantz also had a rough go at it. His inner conflict between being good or evil tugged at his heartstrings all game long. He wanted to do right by God and redeem himself, not from actions in the game, but from his former life. He’s only 19 and has a family of his own. Everyone knows The Winz is not a place that harbors love for his Big Bad Uncle Russell and his father’s appearance on the show proved my judgments feelings judgments all along – Brandon’s family life must not be easy. It was heartbreaking at the reunion when he said not many people were proud of the way he played the game. Russell then continued to bash his poor nephew for doing “everything wrong” and playing a terrible game. Brandon may have made some rash decisions, oftentimes not very strategic ones, but at least he was playing to better the perception of his family and trying to “do right.” I hope somebody out there is proud of Brandon. Hell, I’m proud of him. Anyone who tries to better his life like that deserves an A-for-effort in my book. Poor kid.
I know Ozzy is the fan-favorite this year, but dammit, I couldn’t handle all of his spewing bullshit at the reunion. I like Ozzy, but he no way compares to the true Survivor greats. He’s no Parvati, Boston Rob, Stephenie, or Richard Hatch. Hell, he’s not even a Rupert, and even Rupert kind of sucks! Ozzy’s “you can do anything you want to” speech was nauseating. Dude, I can’t climb a fucking tree, OK? And I’m pretty sure if I tried to climb huge, tall palm trees, I’d fall on my ass, break something, and need Medical to evacuate me from the premises. Not everyone can do everything. The fact of the matter is that Ozzy is good at challenges and nothing else. He still hasn’t perfected a social game; instead he bolstered the fact that he is a one-trick pony. Sorry, man. Parvati and Sophie owned you, and they can do it again in a heartbeat. #NotDrinkingtheOzzyKoolAid. I must say though – I enjoyed Ozzy’s stay this time way better than I enjoyed watching Boston Rob last season. That’s gotta mean something (even though I’m not sure what).
To sum: What a great fucking season of Survivor! This series has once again showed the complexity and vulnerability of the human condition in the coolest of social experiments. We saw some heavy, morally ambiguous tribal councils that really showed the toll the game took on its participants – from Sophie’s character being called into question, to Brandon’s religious struggle between good and evil, over to Coach’s desperate need for redemption through Christ – it was quite a ride!
February. Survivor: One World. Two tribes living together on ONE beach. This could get interesting!
