It’s challenging to try to avoid the number one most belabored line from the Die Hard series, but dammit, it just feels good to say so lets get it out of the way up front: Yippee–ki–yay, motherfucker!

John McClane returns to theaters February 14 in the series’ fifth installment entitled: A Good Day to Die Hard, proving that God exists and that life on planet earth is just swell. There will be explosions, guns, bad language, and hopefully an overflowing sea of cheesy one-liners. (“Attention, whoever you are, this channel is reserved for emergency calls only.” “No fucking shit, lady. Does it sound like I’m ordering a pizza?“) Classic.

This resurgence of 80’s action star films is just excellent in my book. Any time Bruce Willis or Ah-nold are back on screen, it’s usually great fun. (I may draw the line at Segal and JCVD, but in an ensemble, they can also be a tasty treat).

In conclusion: A Good Day to Die Hard is being released in nine days. On Valentine’s Day. If your lady is cool enough, take her to see Die Hard, maybe following or preceded by an activity of her choosing. If she doesn’t want to see it, DUMP HER. She sucks.

This has been relationship advice, free of charge, from TLW. You’re welcome. Now watch this trailer: